I know. I know. It’s done all the time. It’s normal. Americans meet online, or in a bar or at a party and easily exchange numbers, information and go on a date – alone – together – solo. It is a part of our culture. But – why…?!
Dating in the U.S. used to be in – or grew out of – spending time in groups as is still the case in France or Italy, Brazil, Argentina, Spain, Denmark… do we need more examples? In these cultures each person is known quite well by at least two or three others in the group. Even then it takes time – time spent with the group – before any one would consider a solo alone time date.
Sociopaths prefer privacy. Sociopaths immediately separate us from the group. From family. From friends. If we agree only to group dates a sociopath will bail by date three. Isolation is key to a sociopath’s dating success. Isolation is needed for true love scam.
So get a group – go bowling, hiking, to art walks, free concerts, day time fun things that reveal people’s true character and personality through group interaction. A sociopath can’t hold up as a real functioning person in a group – because they aren’t.
Ask friends what they think of him. Take their answers to heart. Trust friends.
4) Online Research.
What is this guys name? Who are his friends? Look through his Facebook with open eyes. A cold examining eye. Look for patterns. Is everything he – or she – posts about themselves? (Bad.) Does he have family – parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, and friends who consistently comment and support over the life of his Facebook presence? (Good.) Does he show anger at others, does he rage in posts? (Bad.) Are most of his friends and comments from women? (Bad.) Are photos all of him? Or him with celebrities? (Bad.) Is there a guy or two who posts on his page: Dude, I haven’t heard from you – what’s up? I can’t reach you?! (Bad.)
Google him. Verify any posting related to him – trace it’s origin. He likely planted a good reputation and super achievements online. Did you find unclear or contradicting information? Does he move a lot? Change jobs a lot? (Bad, bad, bad.) (Run, run, run.)
Special Rule Number 5 to Detect a Love Bombing Sociopath
5) Really Look At His Or Her Eyes.
Sociopaths are shape-shifters. They change externally as their game goes through ups and downs. Sociopaths have a top-of-the-world-charmer-face used for meeting and greeting. They have a suspicious-face that slips in place when they’re suspicious of danger to their game. A cunning victory-face when things are going well, a scary I-will-get-you-face, and even a creature-in-hell-face when their world of lies unravels – because a sociopath and the truth are like a cold bucket of water to the Wicked Witch of the West.
When you find images of them, examine, rather than interject our own – Oh, he’s so cute and sweet – and, She’s so pretty! Cover up the bottom smiley part of their face. Look closely at the eyes only. Now cover one eye. Then the other, looking at them each singly. Another element to look out for is looking almost like a different person from photo to photo. Does their expression or our impression of them vary in photos. Sometimes they look really good and nice and then sometimes – well – kind of scary or creepy, or blank, or crazy. Who is he with? Where is she? Is he always partying? – Is he posing with lots of different women..? Or no women…? Flashing cash, cars…? Are most of the photos of themselves? Showing themselves as great parents with children all around them? – These are give-away signs. Trust your instincts over social programming or dreams of a white dress and wedding bells or a house full of children and a wonderful homemaker wife.