5 Traits of Assertive People

assertive people

4. Openness

People who get what they want are people who are open – open to what they want and open to listening to what other people want as well.

If your husband wants to go out and you don’t want him to, be open to him about it. Sit and have a proper conversation, instead of behaving in a passive-aggressive manner.

Tell him that you would prefer he stay at home but ask him why it’s so important to go out. He could very well have a good reason, a reason that you can accept and be okay with and then you can spend the night not stewing about why he left.

If you aren’t willing to listen and you behave as if it’s your way or the highway, then being assertive will get you nowhere. Furthermore, it will end up offending people. There are two people in every relationship and conversation, and both of them have needs that need to be met. Compromise is, of course, an option but you can’t compromise without information.

5. Composure 

A really big part of getting what you want is being able to ask for what you want – calmly and clearly.

If your husband wants to go out and you don’t, do you think you are more likely to get an outcome that makes you happy if you yell at your guy instead of speaking up calmly about what you want? Would you be willing to work on making someone else happy if they yelled at you?

It is important that, when we are being assertive, we pause and take a deep breath before we speak. That we think about what we want to say and say it in a way that the words will land on the other person. If we do so, we can get what we want.

I know that you are thinking about that person you know who always yells and gets what he wants. Let me ask you – do you like that person? Does anyone like that person? I am guessing not. His loud words get him what he wants but he offends people every time.

Related: 9 Personality Traits of Assertive People

Knowing what type of person gets what they want is the key to being happier in your life.

People who meekly go about their day, taking what others give them without a peep and killing their self-confidence in the process, are people who will ultimately find themselves living a life that doesn’t make them happy.

People who know what they want, who can self-confidently express with honesty and clarity are people who are happy with what they have and happy to share what they have with others.

Imagine feeling that way. You can do it! Work to cultivate the personality traits on my list and you can successfully live the life that you have always wanted.

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