Because she was left without a place to live, my client returned home. Her parents welcomed her with open arms. Her brothers and sisters who lived nearby came over regularly. Her family circled the wagons and showed her their love.
Being surrounded by people who loved her and who believed in her helped my client start to remember the woman who she used to be. When she started loving herself again she was able to see how much her man had hurt her and how much better off she was without him.
So, if you are dealing with the loss of lover, reconnect with your friends and family. They love you for who you are and that’s exactly what you need to be reminded of right now.
#4 – Accomplish something.
Soon after I got divorced, I decided to get my life coach certification. I had always been a wife and a mother but I decided it was time to follow my life goal of being a healer.
Once I was certified, I set down the daunting path of building my own business. Starting a life coach business, building a website, figuring out marketing, networking and attracting clients was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Some days I woke up so frustrated, wanting to just throw in the towel and go get a regular job.
But I didn’t. I persevered. And, over the course of the past six years, I have built a thriving life coaching business where every day I help men and women navigate their lives so that they can be happy.
Making something of myself after being left behind by my husband enabled me to let go of the pain of the loss because I knew that I was amazing, that I could do anything and that any man who didn’t want to be with me was missing out.
What do you want to do? If you are struggling with letting go of love, it’s time to take that step. Be the person you’ve always wanted to be, do what you have always wanted to do.
#5 – Make a list of all you have to offer.
Those of us who are single all have a list of attributes that we want in a man. We want them to be smart and funny and handsome and athletic and successful and more. And, of course, we should want those things. Because we are awesome.
I always encourage my clients to not only make a list of the attributes they want in a man but to make a list of why a man would be lucky to have them.
My list looks something like this: I am a good friend, a great mother and an exceptional caregiver. I am tough as nails, I have lived all over the world, I am intelligent, funny, kind and successful at whatever I try. I am willing to take risks. I’m willing to make myself vulnerable. Any man would be lucky to have me.
I typed up this list and put it on my refrigerator. Every day, instead of reading a list of what I wanted in a man, I read a list of why a man should want to be with me. Every day I remind myself that loving myself is the key to letting go of the love that I have lost and finding a new love for my future.
Letting go of love with love for yourself is one of the healthiest ways to get through these difficult times.
It’s so easy to focus on everything that is wrong with you when you have been rejected but DON’T.
Do things to take care of yourself, do things to take care of the world, spend time with family and friends who love you, accomplish something and take stock of what an amazing woman you are.
I know it seems like the pain of your loss will last forever but I can promise you that learning to love yourself will help ease the pain in the short run and set you up to find the love of your life down the road.