5 Things To Never Ignore If You Want A Healthy Relationship

Written By:

Written By:

healthy relationship 3

A healthy relationship includes trust, respect, open communication, and honesty between the partners. There are some essential things to maintain if you want to keep a relationship happy and fulfilling, some small but salient things if ignored, might prove to be a crippling factor for the bond in your relationship.

Knowing what things to never ignore if you want a healthy relationship is a key part of keeping your relationship in good health.

We so often see lists of all theย things we need to do to keep our relationship happyย but itโ€™s rare to see one that talks about the things that we might not see, the things that might be happening in our relationship right now, things that we might be ignoring that are taking us down a dangerous path.

I know that, when I was married, there were plenty of signs that I ignored, plenty of small signals that were there, ones that, if I had noticed them, would have showed me how unhappy my relationship truly was.

To that end, Iโ€™m going to share with you now 5 things to never ignore if you want a healthy relationship. Knowing them will help you have a healthy relationship, one with staying power!

Here Are The 5 Important Things To Never Ignore If You Want A Healthy Relationship

1. You Have Stopped Talking To Each Other.

Healthy Relationship

Think about it. When was the last time your partner came home from work and you put down what you were doing and greeted them?

When was the last time you talked about something other than the children or work?
When was the last time you connected on any meaningful topic?
When was the last time you had pillow talk before you went to bed?
When was the last time you talked about an issue that really needed to be discussed instead of avoiding it?

Every healthy relationship โ€˜to doโ€™ list talks about the importance of communication. And yes, it is so very important. But itโ€™s important to not just discuss the โ€˜issuesโ€™ but also to talk about the good stuff. The stuff that makes you feel connected, that makes you feel interested in each other. The stuff that has always made you laugh together.

If you notice that you guys are no longer talking to each other, if your conversations consist purely of talking about the kids and/or fighting, then itโ€™s definitely one of those things to never ignore if you want a healthy relationship.

Related: 6 Ways To Improve Communication In A Relationship

2. You Are Kicking Things Down The Road.

If there is one thing I regret more than anything else in my marriage, itโ€™s that I, we, kicked things down the road, we put off dealing with things that should have been addressed immediately.

I think we both knew that there were issues in our marriage but both of us hoped that, if we were patient and if life eventually got less crazy, we would be able to work through them.ย Because we believed that to be true, we tended to ignore our issues and focus on life and the kids. Over time, our issues got bigger because we didnโ€™t address them. And then, one day, they were just too big and our marriage ended.

You know when you have a work project or a homework project due and you work on it regularly so that you know you will be able to pass it in on time and get a good grade or positive feedback.ย You know what happens when you donโ€™t do that โ€“ when you procrastinate and get it done at the last minute? How does that work out? Not so great, I would imagine.

That was my marriage. We started out eager to work hard to be happy but, as time went on and things got harder, we started procrastinating, assuming that we would one day be able to get our project in on time, successfully. We didnโ€™t.

3. You Are Making Decisions On Your Own.

I remember very well when my daughter came home from her second week of high school and announced that she wanted to go to boarding school. We had just moved to Boulder and she was at her first public school and she hated it. More than anything.

She went upstairs, did research on boarding schools, and within an hour, found two that she was interested in attending. Without even talking to my husband, I reached out to both of those schools to see if they might have availability for a last-minute entrant. One of them did. I made an appointment to visit that school over the weekend with my daughter.

I did all of this without checking with my husband. By the time he got home, I had created a narrative that I shared with him, one where it seemed like I asked him his opinion about what he thought about our daughter going to boarding school, but, really, I knew the decision had already been made.

What should have happened is that my daughter sat down with both of her parents and we could have all talked through what she wanted to do and made a decision together. If we had done that, I believe that my husband and I, because we were sharing the decision-making, would have stayed closer to each other instead of being driven further apart.

Instead, I took over and made the decision, leaving my husband, I am sure, not feeling like a part of a team. But he didnโ€™t say anything and I did the same thing over and over. And he did too.

Making decisions unilaterally is definitely one of those things to never ignore if you want a healthy relationship.

4. You Arenโ€™t Making Each Other A Priority.

I know, I know. Life is crazy. There are children, and careers, and parents, and exercise, and TikTok, and Instagram, and TV. But there is also your relationship and it is important to make sure that it is taken into consideration, always.

What if I asked you where on that list above you would put your relationship. Would you put it first? Third? Fifth? ย Choose one and take note.

Now, think about how that looks in real life. Do you treat your partner like they are first, third or fifth, or are they usually (or always) at the end of your list? Or perhaps you MEAN to make them first, third or fifth, and other things get in the way.

Try to think about your relationship like you do your job. You have to go to work every day and focus on the job so that you can get it done and get it done well. Can you have the same perspective in your relationships? Can you remember that itโ€™s important to work on them every day, to get the job done well?

I would encourage you to make your relationship one of your top (if not your top) priorities and make sure that you stick to it. You would be amazed at how many little hurts can be overcome if your person knows that you make them a priority every day and never put them last.

Related: This Priority Test Will Tell Your Main Priorities in Life โ€“ Relational Psychology Test

5. You Have Stopped Touching Each Other.

When you were first together, did you and your partner regularly touch? Did you hug, put your arms around each other as you walked down the street, hold hands at the movies? Was touching a normal part of your day, one that felt as natural as could be?

Do you do that anymore?

For many people, the first thing that goes as couples become disconnected from each other is touching. It isnโ€™t because couples no longer care, but itโ€™s that they no longer have the inclination, or the time, to do so. And letting go of touch is letting off a big part of a romantic connection.

Touch is incredibly important in an intimate relationship. And not necessarily just sex โ€“ ย itโ€™s important to hold hands, to hug, to pat someoneโ€™s butt as they walk by.

Touching your partner intimately sets that relationship apart from every other relationship in your life and being different makes that relationship special. If you continue to touch, if reaching for each otherโ€™s hand is still the norm and not the exception, then your relationship will have an excellent chance of staying healthy.

So, There You Go โ€“ย  5 Things To Never Ignore If You Want A Healthy Relationship.

Remember, there are many lists out there of things you should do to have a healthy relationship but itโ€™s really important to know the things not to ignore NOW if you want to make sure that your relationship stays strong.

If you have stopped communicating if you arenโ€™t dealing with issues in a timely manner if you are making plans on your own if you put your partner at the end of your list and if you stop touching each other, these things are all signs that a healthy relationship could be in jeopardy.

I encourage you to take action right now, to not ignore these things, and to work WITH YOUR PARTNER to keep your relationship healthy. One person in a relationship can not do all the work to keep it healthy. It is a team effort so make sure that you share this list with your partner so that you can work together to keep your relationship and healthy and happy!

You can do it!

Written By: Mitzi Bockmann
Originally Appeared On: Let Your Dreams Begin
healthy relationship pin

— Share —

Published On:

Last updated on:

, ,

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

7 Signs Of Agape Love: What It Means To Love Unconditionally

7 Signs of Agape Love: What It Means To Love Unconditionally

We all know who messy modern relationships can be. Swipe right, swipe left, ghosting, breadcrumbing, situationships – it’s a circus out there and things are getting even crazier! In the midst of all this, exists something called “agape love”. Today, we are going to talk about what it is and the signs of agape love.

So, what keeps some relationships rock-solid when everything else feels disposable? It’s agape love. And once you experience and understand the characteristics of agape love in your life, it’s like an eureka moment.

You realize that true and unconditional love is more than butterflies and romantic gestures; it’s more about being there when it matters the most, even when things may seem tough.

Let’s first try to understand what is the meaning of agape love really.

<

Up Next

What Is A Couple Partnership And Is It A Better Alternative to Heterosexual Marriage?

Rethinking Marriage: Why a Couple Partnership Works Better

Marriage has been the go-to relationship model for ages, but its rigid roles donโ€™t always fit modern relationships. Enter the couple partnershipโ€”a partnership of equals where responsibilities are negotiated, not assigned by outdated gender roles.

A couple partnership is all about building a relationship that works for both partners, without the baggage of traditional marriage.

KEY POINTS

โ€œMarriage,” “wife,” and “husband” are cultural creations that identify specific roles for men and women.

A “couple partnership” gives us a chance at an equal, intimate, committed relationship.

Up Next

6 Ways Marriage Changes Everything: Seeing Marriage From A Different Lens

Marriage Changes Everything Big Ways You'll Feel It

Marriage changes everythingโ€”sometimes in ways you expect, and other times in ways that take you by surprise. The effects of marriage go beyond just a new last name or shared bills; it shifts how you see each other, how you fight, and even how time feels.

Itโ€™s a wild ride of love, growth, and plenty of “we had no idea this would happen” moments. This article is going to talk about the 6 effects of marriage and what it entails.

KEY POINTS

Different types of changes occur in a marriage.

It’s important to have ongoing communication to discuss the impact of changes and address any concerns.

Marr

Up Next

Feeling Suffocated in a Marriage? The Real Problem Isnโ€™t What You Think

Feeling Suffocated in a Marriage? The Real Problem Isnโ€™t What You Think

Feeling suffocated in a marriage? Youโ€™re not alone. If youโ€™ve ever thought, “I feel suffocated in my marriage,” it might not be your partnerโ€”it could be the way we expect marriage to work.

Letโ€™s dive into the Suffocation Model of Marriage, why modern relationships feel stifling and how a fresh approach can bring back balance and connection, and stop you from feeling suffocated.

KEY POINTS

Marriage is being described as suffocating for some individuals.

In reality, people have too many self-expressive needs.

Itโ€™s the psychological construct of

Up Next

7 Lessons From A Failed Marriage: What NOT To Do Next Time

Lessons from a Failed Marriage: What NOT to Do Next Time

When you are walking down the aisle and looking at your husband, do you think, “I can’t wait to screw this up”? No one does that. However, sometimes things just don’t work out, no matter how hard you try, and marriages fall apart. But there are lessons from a failed marriage you can learn.

Getting over a failed marriage sucks to say the least. But what if I told you that a broken marriage can come with many lessons, lessons that will help you in self-growth and what not to do next time.

The lessons you learn from a failed marriage arenโ€™t just about love; theyโ€™re about life, maturity, and learning that, hey, maybe arguing over how to load the dishwasher wasnโ€™t worth it.

So, if youโ€™ve been through a failed marriage (or are picking up the pieces), here are seven brutally honest, but always

Up Next

Romance, Roast And Giggles: 50+ Best Relationship Jokes

Best Relationship Jokes That Prove Love is Hilarious!

Love is a rollercoaster, and when you have an arsenal of the best relationship jokes, it makes the ride even more fun! Be it a new romance, a long-term relationship, or you simply just adore some corny love jokes, these hilarious couple jokes will have you cracking up.

From dating disasters to hilarious marriage moments, relationships come with plenty of comedy material. Because letโ€™s be honestโ€”love isnโ€™t always candlelit dinners and sweet texts. Sometimes, itโ€™s forgetting anniversaries, stealing blankets, and arguing over where to eat.

So, hold on to your partner right, and enjoy these funny jokes about love!

Up Next

40+ Funny Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend That Will Leave Him Cracking Up

Funny Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend That'll Crack Him Up

If you want to keep the spark alive in your relationship, and fill your conversations with humor and laughter, then you have come to the right place. Today, we are going to do a deep dive into some of the best and funny questions to ask your boyfriend.

Whether youโ€™re looking for funny questions to ask your partner during a road trip, a lazy Sunday, or just to break the ice, a little humor goes a long way. After all, who doesnโ€™t love a good laugh?

If you want to tease his goofy side, and get him to wrack his mind in ridiculously funny ways, then this list of questions will surely do the trick.

When it comes to funny questions to ask your partner to make him laugh, this is one of the sneaky ways to also get to know him better – his