These days, it’s incredibly easy to keep tabs on your ex. Social media is at our fingertips always and the inclination to get a little fix of what we lost can be irresistible.
BUT, let me ask you – how do you feel after you stalk your ex? Do you ever feel better? No? Shocking.
Stalking is the worst thing that you can do if you are trying to get over your ex. Recovery gets easier the longer you have no contact with your person and that includes seeing them on social media.
So, resist the urge to snoop. If you have to, unfriend or unfollow your ex. And remember, the person who is posting on Instagram isn’t necessarily sharing a true vision of themselves. How many times have you posted an inspirational quote when you were feeling really shitty?
Yeah, me too.
4. Don’t play the victim.
When we are broken-hearted it’s very easy to take on the role of victim.
We feel like our person did us wrong and that they are horrible people and that we didn’t deserve what we got from them. Perhaps we believe that we weren’t at fault and that the breakup was unwarranted. And, perhaps, all of those things are true. You still don’t want to play the victim.
Being a victim means giving up your power. Being a victim allows you to wallow in self-pity and not take responsibility for your actions.
A client of mine asked his wife for a divorce. She didn’t want one and refused to participate in any of the divorce proceedings. She didn’t hire a lawyer, didn’t show up in court, refused to negotiate and the judge ultimately declared a default divorce decree.
Where did that leave my client’s wife? Sitting in her house, wallowing in her victimhood having taken no active role in deciding her future. When my husband left me, I stood up for myself, declared myself better off without him, and then took him to the cleaners.
I encourage you to take a good look at yourself and assess your self-pity. Are you feeling like a victim? If you are, get up from this article, look in the mirror and decide that no one is going to make you feel like less than you are. No one is going to take away your power.
5. Know that you will find love someday.
The number one thing I hear from my clients is that they believe that they will never love or be loved again.
They believe that their person was the only one for them, that they could never find someone they could love as much as their ex. Or they believe that they aren’t worth being loved and how could they ever find someone who could love them.
Even more, the thought of dating again fills them with anxiety and fear. How on earth are they going to do that, especially feeling the way they do right now?
Let me PROMISE you that you will find love again. Do you know anyone who has been alone forever? Even if you know someone who has been alone for a while, they haven’t been alone forever. There is someone else out there for them and for you!
So, believe that you will love again. There is someone out there waiting for you to recover from this breakup and when you find each other all of the sufferings will have been worth it!
I know that right now you believe that surviving a break up is close to impossible but I promise you it’s not.
If you can keep in mind that it’s okay to be sad, that your thoughts can derail you, that stalking is always a bad idea, that you will be loved again someday then your road to recovery can be a speedy one.
And, most importantly, don’t play the victim. Don’t let your ex take your power away. Stand up for yourself and remember who you are! Because you are amazing!