To the sociopath we’re an animated object, a natural resource to serve their purpose – or not. Sociopaths, people of “antisocial personality disorder”, do not have genuine friendships or families or partners. Every “relationship” they are “in” is a scam, a con. Every person is a person they use.
People are an Object Representing Fulfillment of a Sociopath’s Needs
A sociopath’s interest in another human being is sort of like our need for a pair of garden sheers, or an umbrella, a toaster, or a blender. We need those things to accomplish certain goals. Otherwise, we don’t think about them or care about them.
In fact, we have more concern for the condition and upkeep of our blender or toaster than a sociopath does for another human being. Even if we don’t like toast, we wouldn’t destroy our toaster. Sociopaths use and take to the brink of ruin anyone and everyone they use.
What they do care about is getting out attention, getting us to “like” them so that they can use us. We’re used for anything and everything that it takes to live. We each, as targets potentially (they hope) fulfill a “goal” of theirs. A sociopath wants us to like them so they can use us.
2. True Love Scam Requires Our Trust and Empathy Towards the Sociopath
To win trust sociopaths pose as trustworthy. One common sociopath antic is to borrow money and repay it to appear trustworthy in either business or love scams.
To draw out our empathy, they tell sob stories too, tales of abuse and betrayal. This is a hodge-podge of lies to test the depths of our empathy.
Another tricky bit is that sociopaths use words as bait to create a false sense of intimacy with their stories and “affection” or attention. We “feel” it and believe them because in the normal world people don’t lie. In the normal world people trust and love. Predators use words to keep us in place.
Never let someone who contributes so little to a relationship control so much of it.
Early Generosity is a Hallmark of True Love Scam
They’ll buy the groceries, pay the rent or mortgage and talk about many things they plan to do. They’ll fix things around the house. Buy us gifts. Their attention can be overwhelming, their enthusiasm contagious. We’re pretty excited. What they are doing is hooking us. There are promises, of a great life. Who doesn’t want that? It’s normal to want that. There’s nothing wrong with us.
3. Sociopaths Take and Steal Things and Influence Us to Give More
While we’re looking straight into the fantasy life spun for us our true love will take as much as possible. Bit by bit, or really, right away; they worm into a kind of control of our lives in minor or major ways.
Know that doubting they did what they did or are as bad as it seems is normal.
Our emotional and mental confusion keeps us in. We simply can’t recognize “red flags”, no matter how red they are, or how hard they wave if they’re signaling something we don’t know exists.
Normal People Try and Compromise and Try More
We behave like normal people; giving as normal people and we “try” in relationships when things need fixing. That’s normal. In true love scam, we begin to feel like we’re in it alone. We get to a point where we feel we’re the only ones building the relationship. And we are. We’re amazing: We’re pulling the weight of our own life and their empty, rotten flesh sack.
When we were laughing with joy at this amazing true love. They were laughing with pride at what they got away with, and how easy we are to scam. Meanwhile, they ruin us behind our backs.
We’ve been working, and trying, and yet, there’s nothing there but a pile of rubble. The sociopath knows we’ll gradually see they’re lying and using and taking. If they see us seeing through them, questioning too much, they do their best to bind us more deeply.
4. True Love Scam Requires That We Stay Hooked into the Predator
“The hardest part of being in an emotionally abusive relationship, it’s actually admitting you’re in one.” – Anna Akana
As we’re asking questions, challenging their stories they hunker down and take more, more wildly and usually behind our backs. They do things that bind us more deeply into what we still think of as a relationship so they can take more, longer. It’s our normal natural innate amazing human qualities that pique our emotions and keep us in longer.