- Would you still be there if their likes shift?
- Or if there were no physical pleasures involved?
- Would you still want this if it involved only talking the whole time?
- How about during the test periods?
- Do you think both of you can work your way through all the tests of life?
- Do your ideologies match?
You cannot expect to have a successful relationship if your ideas of life or politics or general humanity do not match theirs. Not that you both should have the exact same moral code — only that they should minimally align.
This is something you might want to check on very early in your relationship. No matter how compatible you both might be, you can expect a fall-out if the topic steers to a social discussion and you find out they are, say, a racist, how do you really think that will go down if you are not?
It is not just about social views, it is about your philosophy of life (the dreams you wish to fulfill, the way you wish to spend your income), your idea of being settled and having a family (the distribution of chores, the priority of your jobs, the desire to have kids, other allied schedules, and everything in between), the solidarity of your beliefs (your religions, the religion your kids would follow if you plan to have kids sometime).
You would also need to know where each of you stands compared to all these beliefs in each other’s life — and if both of you are comfortable with the rank you each take on that priority list.
How serious is this?
Like, really. If you are considering a serious relationship, you already know how serious YOU are. But, what about them? You need to know their expectations, their future plans, and their outlook on major things by now.
You should be sure both of you are aware of where this is heading and both of you will have to agree with the imminent outcome. You will also need to be sure about the seemingly cliché-questions about how far you both really can go for each other.
Who are you willing to stand against if you believe in your person when they become your significant other? To what extent can you go to defend their pride and beliefs? And to what extent if you only partly believe in them?
Because in the long-run, this will all matter.
The relationship is serious work even though it may not seem so. It requires a healthy amount of love, understanding, trust, and support — from both the people involved.
But, they also work a lot on pure determination and stubbornness much more than anything else.