15 Red Flags Of Manipulative People

Red Flags Manipulative People

8. Uses social media to evoke jealousy and insecurity while themselves maintaining their innocent guise: 

The social media which they once used to raise your self-esteem will now be used to throw you down the depths of insecurity. They will engage in activities that will make you feel like a sidekick. They will tag their ex-lovers in random posts to and engage in an inside conversation where you feel boycotted and left out.

9. You are slowly turning into a detective:

You have never been so insecure in your life. Now you start to stalk your partner everywhere, starting from social media to in reality. You feel like you are turning crazy in the mind by worrying about what your partner might be doing at your back. You are about to forget what mental peace was like.

Related: Are you a psychopath? Lets see if you Can You Pass This Test

10. Constantly makes you question your value in their life:  

Alongside losing your sleep over their true intentions, you will also question your position in their life. Manipulative people will often treat you like an option, paying no heed to your needs or desires. You are always the last one on their priority list. They surround themselves with potential partners and subtly hint at how unattractive you are as compared to them.

11. You are the only one who is able to see through their farce:

You will be surprised to know that you are the only one who can see through their techniques to establish control over you. Other mutual friends of you both are failing to understand your reason for being ‘overconcerned’ and ‘hurt’. This is not surprising as it’s one of the manipulative techniques known as triangulation, used by the psychopaths to corner you.

12. Never empathizes with you: 

Everything they know is themselves. They are so self-absorbed that they find it difficult to put themselves in your shoes and understand what you are going through. They will minimize your pain by saying things like “Don’t be such a cry-baby.” “You are over-reacting.” etc.

Related: 8 Things A Narcissist Fears The Most

13. Points out your mistakes while ignoring their own: 

If you ever find faults with them, don’t forget that you also have your share of mistakes. If you forget, they will readily remind you of the same by turning the entire conversation towards you. They are masters at shifting the blame to you when they were supposed to be the one in need to be penalized.

14. Gaslights you:

In case you encounter them with their manipulative techniques, they will deny and ignore your evidence to prove your point. They will even get angry if you try to logically reason our their delusions.

Related: Gas Lighting – Something, everyone should know about. Are you a Victim Too?

15. They constantly make you feel like your relationship is a tightrope walk: 

Every relationship has occasional conflicts but they get eventually resolved with the joint efforts of the partner. When you are in a relationship with a manipulator, you will be threatened with negative consequences whenever their mistakes are the topic of conversation. For you, the relationship seems to be like a walk on the egg-shell. Every time you are fighting with your partner, it seems the end of the relationship.

A healthy relationship will never have these red flags. People who are not genuinely interested in an intimate relationship with you but merely use you as a supply for their sadistic needs is not actually in love with their partners. They are in love with what their partner can provide them with.

Developing intuition and awareness around these manipulative signs takes time but once you do so, you are to remember that everyone out there is after emotionally and psychologically traumatizing you. Some of them are authentically in love with you which you eventually can feel. True affection never feels forced. They seem to flow organically and perfectly fits you.

No need for force no need for apprehension.

Related video:


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50 thoughts on “15 Red Flags Of Manipulative People”

  1. Your point #22 reads, in part, “…will likely be labeled jealous, bipolar, an alcoholic, or some other nasty smear.”

    As an alcoholic with bipolar disorder, I find this characterization offensive. How is an illness a “nasty smear”? I doubt you would have said something like, “…labeled diabetic, or some other nasty smear.” Or “epileptic” or “anemic” or most other illness.

    Please consider that alcoholism, bipolar disorder, and a large number of other afflictions are illnesses. They are diagnoses, not “nasty smears.”

  2. If only I had read this before I tore apart my marriage to go live with a psychopath who claimed he was my soul mate, and that we would be together forever! Now all I do is cry for all I did wrong and how I hurt my husband for an evil piece of shit!

  3. #7 is not necessarily a red flag. The way I was raised I’m the kind of person who yawns when my car blows a tire while driving down the highway. I’ve definitely gotten in trouble for NOT freaking out when things got crazy but it’s the way my entire family acts. /shrug

    Only a few of these things are red flags on their own. Three or more, sure.

    #10 is also a sign of a possessive, controlling, codependent manipulator. So it goes both ways.

    Also, a number of these things are victim blaming results, not causes. If you are nervous around the psycho you have to accept responsibility for your own feelings and reactions. It is not the manipulators fault that you react the way they are trying to train you.

  4. 23 of these 30 points plus arrogance as mention to be put on the new list my last partner and mother to my child has. She asked me in a sms conv now after 2 months free of her after she ended it if I am not sorry now that I dident give her the attention she needed for over a halv year… Responded with: No, I did that but you choose not to see it , gave you all my time and effort and put you prio 1 , in the process I lost my selfworth and selfrespect and now I started to get it back.

  5. I ended a 4 year relationship once and for all today thanks to your articles that have helped me to see what had happened to me, which is exactly as described in this list and more. Thank you.

  6. I’d love to receive the updated list. Thank you for such a great and insightful article. Even though logically I know I’m not the crazy one, their behavior is absolutely crazy-making & it’s easy to get lost in all the manipulation.

  7. This articulate and explain some of my intimate encounters and very informative, but these types of people with these behaviors are so prominent in society now ugh. Thank you for this, the more I read the more I learn how to shield my self from the types of behaviors.

  8. Donna … I just want to say that realise the seriousness of this issue and realise that they do not deserve a second chance in any way. Good luck to you.

  9. Amazing amazing write up. I was very unfortunate to have experienced all of this and this article help me understand that the person was really a a psychopath .. I wish I knew back then bt I’m glad I know now.. It’s very easy to feel lost and terrible for a normal person when you are in run with a psychopath. M glad I survived.

  10. I’m 53 and my whole life has been with manipulative people. 35 years of marriage and I finally woke up when he attacked our 34 year old son.

  11. Almost 20 years later, I still have to work on the hypervigilance. My mind files away inconsistencies like most people file away the number of smiles their love gives in a day. Good news is, I don’t act on those inconsistencies anymore. It was hard, soul stripping work to figure out my part in allowing myself to end up with someone like this. Don’t know if I’ll ever be 100% again, but most days I’m at 90%. I can live with that today.

  12. This article is very insightful. I also found the link on gaslighting to be equally helpful. It’s just unfortunate the author had to undermine her own message with her display of Fox News Derangement Syndrome.

  13. It is such comprehensive guide that I just realized that two other men in my life after my psychopath husband were psychopaths as well. My hubs lured me to come back to him. I came back and things were worse, much worse. I felt that my life is ended because even police could do nothing as he using Neurolingistic Programming quite successfully and feels no remorse about it. Thankfully after 4 visit police took me seriously. He is out.
    I feel drained to the point I can barely function.
    Thank you for this.

  14. I am struggling to get out of a three year relationship with a narcissistic psychopath. I have been believing I am the one who is wrong, but after reading these 30 red flags I can see he fits them all. He even left me off and on when I was on chemo for cancer and made me feel it was my fault. He was with another woman (a stranger) while I had my debulking operation and recovery. Now Mr. Charming is returning home this spring from his winter trips and wants me again. Only the loneliness keeps me talking to him. Thank you for these 30 red flags, I will read them daily for strength.

    1. I’m in a similar situation to you so I understand what you’ve been going through. I too was in a relationship with a man who turned out to be a covert narc for almost 3 years. The relationship almost cost me my life, due to massive bilateral pulmonary embolism caused by long distance flying. His only response to the news that I was in ICU was “it most have been really embarrassing to make such a spectacle of yourself at the airport when you collapsed”.
      We split just over a month ago and he’s already moved on to his new supply. Something he kept doing on the side even when he was with me while we lived in different places. I’d constantly find him on dating sites, exes would be texting and calling his phone when we were together etc. I get the feeling of loneliness. While I was with him I cut myself off from friends and family, because I would either get accused of cheating (with male friends) or of not paying him enough attention.

  15. Nick you are absolutely right! I became a victim when I am not one and I let the man in question treat me very badly. But it isn't always as cut and dried as that because the people in question are very clever at getting what they want. XXX

    1. You didn’t “let” him treat you badly. He just did. Saying you “let” him do it implies that you in some way made him do it. You didn’t. It is all on him. The only reason you stayed is you loved him and guess what? We’re supposed to love our romantic partners. YOU were doing the right thing. HE wasn’t. If it took you a while to get out, that’s only because you didn’t understand what was happening, which was the whole point of his treatment of you anyway–to confuse you, encourage you to doubt yourself, etc. Again, NOT YOUR FAULT.

      I’m so tired of idiots who blame everyone but the perp when someone does something wrong. I do understand and acknowledge that even people who do bad things are still people and may sometimes be operating from a place of trauma. But that’s not true of psychopaths. They were born that way. And even when you’ve got someone who’s emotionally/mentally disabled by trauma, THEY are still the ones doing the bad thing. No one else.

  16. This is a great list to read prior to going on any dating sites. It will make you more alert to any scammers out there as these signs are many of the things they do. All the emotions felt after encountering these people even though you never met them are so true. I know from experience after being scammed myself. Always follow your instincts!!

  17. The only control others have over you is what you allow them to have,everyone try's to get their way some don't fight it others do.its the ongoing battle of life.its a problem when someone says they were manipulated and controlled ,they take the victim role.but if you think about it they allowed it.

  18. Thank you for this list. I ignored ALL the red flags and warning signs and was left emotionally battered and bruised. But it was a huge learning curve for me and I have changed beyond recognition and have a wonderful, kind man now and a more healthy relationship with my narcissistic mother. XXX

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