30 Pieces Of Marriage Advice From People Married For Over 30 Years

30 Pieces Of Marriage Advice From People Married For Over 30 Years

21. “Let go of arguments quickly. Even if you know you’re right. It doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t matter. 99% of the things you fight about will be completely irrelevant, and it’s better to just let go and come back into harmony. It’s a relationship… not a battle for your egos!” – Jessica

22. “My wife and I have a little ritual that I imagine others could benefit from. Every day, whenever I come home from work, we always start off our conversation by answering the question ‘What’s the best thing that happened to you today?’. We don’t do this because we gloss over the fact that we also have struggles or low days… but rather to simply be in the habit of starting with positivity. It helps us out a lot, and I always look forward to it.” – Renaldo

23. “Something that my partner and I started doing over five years ago was we committed to engaging with each other sexually every day. Yes, literally every day! This doesn’t mean that we have penetration every day. Sometimes being sexual with each other means kissing each other’s genitals goodnight… or making out a little when he gets home from work… or doing a few minutes of massage in the morning. It’s our little way of keeping the sexual simmer alive in our marriage, and it has worked wonders for us.” – Beth

24. “Every year of your relationship, even if you have children together, go for a 1-on-1 vacation together. Just the two of you, even if it’s only for 3 days. It’s worth the effort.” – Charles

25. “Passion is a function of communication. If you aren’t regularly speaking truth to each other, and letting your individual inner worlds be known, then you’ll just be going through the motions.” – Arlene

26. “What I would most want to impress upon people is acknowledging and accepting that there will be phases in your marriage. There can even be multi-year phases where it just isn’t as sparkly and magical as other phases. Maybe your career goes through a downturn and it affects your financial stability, or maybe one of you goes through a crisis of identity and doesn’t feel very sexual as a result because you don’t really know who you are anymore. And these very real, often predictable, life-y things will impact your marriage. But if you chose the right person and you’re both truly in it for the long haul, then these peaks and valleys will just add to your union.” – Yasmine

27. “Only love is real. So when you’re engaging with your partner from a place that doesn’t have love tied into it, you aren’t really there at all. And that isn’t to say that anger can’t be simultaneously mixed with love, because it absolutely can. Every emotion can have a foundation of love underneath it. Just check in with yourself and remember to remain connected to your heart at all times.” – Jason

28. “Another person can’t make you happy, but they sure can make you miserable. So take your time in choosing your partner. Hopefully, you’ll only ever have to do it once.” – Delores

29. “Maintain separate friends and hobbies. There’s always the three entities: you, me, and the relationship. If you aren’t both cultivating friendships and hobbies outside of the relationship then you’ll never have anything new to talk about. Having your own life outside of the relationship is so important in maintaining a sustained, beautiful romance.” – Sharice

30. I would tell people to ‘Give yourselves the opportunity to miss each other.’ Once per year my husband and I each go on our own week-long trips with our closest friends. Him with his old high school buddies, and me with my tennis friends that I’ve known since I was in my 20’s. We each come back feeling refreshed and recharged, yes, but more importantly we get to have the experience of missing each other. The first few days of my trip I’m happy to have space, but inevitably, by the last few days, I really truly tap into the sensations of missing him. And it’s always such a gift to reunite with each other when I get home. With this habit as an annual ritual, it keeps me that much more awake to the fact that I love this man deeply, and I know that he has a similar experience when he returns from his boys’ trip.” – Juliette

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