3 Tips on How To Save An Affection-Starved Marriage

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TIP –  1: STOP BRINGING IT UP  

Talking about it (even if only occasionally will not get your husband or wife to change. Yet many relationship counselors may advise telling your spouse ” You are not being affectionate”

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 It doesn’t matter whether you beg, demand, joke, it never, ever works long-term or feels good.  

Of course, your husband or wife may do it when you have told them to, but if you have ever asked for affection and been given it on demand you know what I am talking about when I say -it feels horrible!

It used to make me feel more lonely when my boyfriend hugged or kissed me because I pressurized them too.  You want your spouse to be affectionate toward you because he or she wants to.

It reminds me of how I used to be around my Nan when I was young, she would always hold our face in her hands and demand kisses and cuddles, when we wanted to just say hi and run into her back garden and play.  It felt forced. Just like when your mum would want to kiss you goodbye in front of your friends before school.

If you are upset about a lack of affection, then really you are longing to be desired.

By ordering affection you may notice in your spouse a reluctance to be affectionate with you.

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AND when you notice that it HURTS.

REALLY HURTS!

I used to ask myself the DREADFUL question “What’s wrong with me!?!” or “Why am I so needy?”

Begging for affection feels terrible!

Even if your man or woman comply!

So my advice is DONT DO IT!

It harms you and makes them run a mile.

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Nicola Beerhttps://www.nicolabeer.com/
A world-renowned expert in relationship psychology and transformation. I have been fortunate over the past ten years to help thousands of men and women across the globe to live love filled and vibrant lives through healing relationships and childhood trauma, as well as their relationship to food. In addition to co-authoring 4 international best-seller books, I have been featured on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox News Network, Huffington Post and Wall Street Select.
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