3 Secrets To Achieving Love Without Attachment

 / 

,
3 Secrets To Achieving Love Without Attachment

Anyone who has been in love or experienced this pure emotion would know how liberating it feels. However, the problem is that we sometimes confuse other feelings and emotions for love. And when these feelings or emotions bring us conflict or unhappiness we blame love and think of it as something that is to be avoided at all costs. Romance is usually a rocky road for many because of the high expectations and the subsequent hurts that it entails. Love is in fact freeing, but when we add the attachment to the mix, things get all confused and messed up.

I know the concept of love sans attachment might seem quite strange for many. But it is actually wrong when we confuse attachment for love. Attachment has quite a few markers which are similar to love and it is the reason we bring all the miseries of heartbreak upon us. In both of these, you sort of give yourself over to the person you love. You stop thinking about yourself and care only for the happiness of the other person. In fact, this is what allows people to write impeccable verses describing the beauty of their lover. A lot of great art has come into existence thanks to the artistโ€™s beloved. But attachment also has a very definite downside. We start believing that our entire life will come to a standstill just because the person we love (whom we might not even have known a few months ago) leaves us. The sole purpose of our life is turned into pleasing this other person.

Learn The Difference Between Connection And Attachment

Love is a much vast experience in comparison. It is definitely not limited to just one person, the so-called โ€˜object of our loveโ€™. True love is universal. Someone who has known the secret of how to love- will love every being and non-being alike. It requires an understanding of the inherent unity in the universe. All of us are one. And therefore it makes no sense loving (or rather getting attached) to one part of the creation and not the other. Such an all-encompassing love is liberating and the true essence of what it means to love. When we love only a certain person, we are being selfish for them. True love is never selfish.

Here are a few pointers which will help you understand love better:

1)  Make sure you are in love, not in love with something or someone

Can you narrow down the object of your love to one person? In that case, it cannot be love. Love flows in all directions and for everyone and everything. But if you feel this way only towards one person- you are in for a fall. This is attachment. And attachment never bodes well. Attachment makes you clingy and needy. Don’t let attachment limit and chain you to only one person. Learn to love everyone and everything. If you feel that you are becoming attached to just one person, take care not to let this attachment grow any further. Don’t choose something which will limit you in the place of something which is truly freeing. It might seem difficult at first to not obsess over someone you like, but it is not impossible. When you allow yourself to not get attached to them, you will see that you are able to love deeper. Loving one person might make you selfish, which is not what love is about.

2)  Don’t try to label, hoard or hold on to love

Love is a fleeting feeling. And it is best enjoyed like that, living in the moment. As much as you might like it, you cannot bind it. When we first experience love, the feeling is so overwhelming that we want to capture it and want to keep it with us forever. But the moment you try to bind love, you are giving in to attachment. You cannot bound love, it will only turn sour or worse. For instance, when you see a beautiful flower- your first instinct is to pluck it from its garden and keep it with you. It will definitely give you the momentary pleasure of having it in your possession. But it will soon wilt away and turn bad. The moment you seek to take control of the object of your love- it turns into attachment. Love is momentary. You need to appreciate it in the moment. If you start thinking that having a certain person in your life is crucial for your existence, leave immediately. You have become attached to them. And this will lead to conflict. You might try to limit them or yourself in trying to hold on to each other. You need to realize that limiting each other will also mean hindering the wholesome development that each individual needs. Let it go. The memories of a perfect moment are enough, you don’t have to try and prolong that perfect moment, it will only malign it.

3)  Don’t try to control someone because you want your love to be perfect

Remember the in-the-moment nature of love. This also means that love doesnโ€™t care how perfect or imperfect someone is. Love happens out of the blue and just as the person is. Thinking about improving on your partner, telling them how they could be better is not living in the moment. It is anticipating future, and that is the beginning of the end of true love.. Love doesnโ€™t require change. In fact, love is quite in opposition to attachment or this need for perfection. Love is spontaneous and all about the quirks that make you an individual. Donโ€™t get caught up in the idea that you need to be perfect for your spouse or they need to change certain aspects about themselves. All of that is just attachment talking. Love someone for exactly how they are, not some imaginary perfect image of their future.

In Conclusion

Just because love is momentary, doesnโ€™t mean that your relationship has to be. Love will come and go as it pleases. Instead of being daunted by it, try to welcome it every time it comes around, and enjoy it to the fullest for however long it lasts. You donโ€™t have to limit or change yourself or your partner for true love. Those are only the urges of attachment, learn to break away from them.


You may also like

Love Without Attachment: Ways To Love Unconditionally
Why Non-attachment is one of the Keys to a Happy Life and Relationships
How to Release Attachments to Past Relationships
6 Signs Your Partner Isnโ€™t Infatuated or in Love But is Obsessed and Emotionally Attached
10 Signs That Your Partner Is Becoming Emotionally Detached

The Minds Journal Articles Volume -1  is Copyright Protected vide Regd.# L-103222/2021 

3 Secrets To Achieving Love Without Attachment

— Share —

— About the Author —

Response

  1. Debashis Midya Avatar
    Debashis Midya

    test2

Leave a Reply



Up Next

What is a Trophy Husband In Today’s Relationship Dynamics?

Signs of a Trophy Husband: Exploring Modern Masculinity

Most of us are aware of the term โ€œtrophy wifeโ€. But have you heard about a โ€œtrophy husbandโ€? It is a somewhat new term that is a gender-swapped version of the more popular concept of โ€œtrophy wifeโ€. 

In today’s evolving society, where gender roles are constantly being redefined, there’s a rising trend of trophy husbands. These men are not only eye-catching companions but also possess qualities that make them desirable partners. 

Today, let us explore this fascinating concept and understand what is a trophy husband,  the signs to look for, why being a trophy husband is exhausting, and the potential issues that can arise in relationships with them.

What is a Trophy Husband?



Up Next

Feeling Like Roommates In A Marriage? 7 Signs Of Roommate Syndrome And What You Can Do To Change That

Feeling Like Roommates In A Marriage? Signs Spark Is Gone

Are you feeling like roommates in a marriage? You know, that sinking feeling when you realize the spark has fizzled, and your relationship has become more about paying bills and coordinating schedules than love and connection.

The thing is, roommate syndrome is more common than you think, and many couples face this, after being together for a long time. When you are in the roommate phase of a relationship, you might ask yourself why and when the romance disappeared or if you’re both just pretending to be happy.

But that might not be the case. In this article, we are going to look at what is roommate syndrome, the signs of roommate syndrome, and how to deal with roommate syndrome, so that you stop feeling like roommates in a marriage.

So, let’s get started, shall we?



Up Next

Am I In Love Or Just Experiencing Limerence? 5 Signs To Look For

Limerence vs Love? Signs That Differ From True Love

Are you head over heels for somebody or have you plummeted into limerence? Learn the distinction between limerence vs love to make sure that your romantic bond doesnโ€™t turn into a serious addiction.

Limerence is a psychological state that can leave you feeling exhilarated but confused. This state isn’t just another word for love. It has unique properties that differ limerence vs love.

What is limerence vs love?

In simpler words, limerence in a relationship when someone is madly in love with another person. So much so that it affects their mindset and they canโ€™t think of anything else but him/her.

It might not seem too different from love.



Up Next

8 Ways To Upgrade Your Relationship

Ways To Upgrade Your Relationship

Do you feel like your relationship has lost that spark from before? If you answered yes, then you should know that many couples go through this, which is why it’s important to know how to improve your relationship. This article is going to talk about how to strengthen your relationship and upgrade your relationship.

It seems like it should be natural to treat our partners with love, consideration, and respect. Yet, for many people in long-term relationships, the warmth and kindness that were present in the early days of dating can fade over time.

Most people treat their partners with the utmost respect and kindness in the courting stage. The relationship probably wouldnโ€™t have progressed if they hadnโ€™t. Why do so many people present the best version of themselves early on, and over time, treat their beloved partners with disrespect, di



Up Next

5 Ways To Rekindle The Spark In Your Relationship

Ways To Rekindle The Spark In Your Relationship

If you feel that the spark in your relationship is gone, then let me tell you something – you can rekindle the spark in your relationship again! Now the question is, how to reignite the spark in your relationship? How can you make your relationship feel like the olden days again? Let’s find out!

Remember the feelings you experienced when you first started dating your spouse or partner? Perhaps you felt excitement, attraction, and anticipation? As the relationship has progressed, has it been difficult to maintain those initial feelings?

Once lifeโ€™s responsibilities, careers, kids, and the passing of time are added to the mix, that initial spark can easily diminish if we donโ€™t keep it stoked.

Fortunately



Up Next

How To Deal With Your Partner’s Obsessive Ex? 4 Tips For Successfully Handling One

Deal With Your Partner's Obsessive Ex: Tips And Tricks

Have you ever had to deal with an obsessive ex? Moreover, have you ever had to deal with your partner’s obsessive and toxic ex? If you have, you already know how disturbing it is to go through this. This article is going to talk about some of the best ways to deal with a toxic ex or deal with your partner’s toxic ex.

My friend is happily married to a man who has a child. He is a devoted and loving father who sought full custody of the children; the court denied his petition.

His two children are living with their narcissistic mother who actively alienates the children from their father. His ex was obsessed with him during their short and turbulent relationship. She was deceitful, abusive, controlling, and highly destructive. They hooked up while drunk.



Up Next

Are You Hesitant To Commit? 6 Warning Signs Of Lack Of Commitment In A Relationship And How To Navigate Them

Signs of Lack of Commitment in a Relationship: Red Flags

Do you always find yourself in short-term, casual relationships? Does the idea of committing in a relationship make you nervous? Are you showing signs of lack of commitment in a relationship?

Commitment issues can be a significant barrier to building a healthy and fulfilling partnership, affecting both individuals involved. Today, let us explore what are commitment issues, the signs that may indicate their presence, the underlying causes of commitment issues, and effective strategies to overcome them.

By understanding these factors, you can empower yourself to navigate the complexities of relationships with greater confidence and clarity.

Are You Afraid of Commitment?