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3 Lies Women Tell Themselves About Men, That’s Keeping Them Away From Finding & Keeping Love

Ever notice that when it comes to people trying to fix or change each other, the scales are heavily tipped to the female-doing-the-fixing side? This is where adages like “Get a man, keep a man, and keep him in line” comes from.

Can you imagine what we’d do if the common phrase was “Get a woman, keep a woman, and keep her in line” instead? Can you imagine? Because I can. We would lose our shit.

This whole changing and fixing business is why it takes men longer to commit. They need time to look and see if they are willing to commit to that whole package — and when they do, they’re in. No fixing needed.

Which is good news, and may calm your nerves for the last lie.

3. All men want are young, hot girls and not women their own age.

You’ve watched it happen. Your contemporaries are divorcing after the kids are off to college and within the first year, he has a smoking-hot girlfriend half his age and she’s still single. It’s true, just like you’ve always feared: Men want younger (than you) women.

If you’re married or partnered, does this have you wondering if you’re next?

Fun fact: Women initiate 60 percent of divorces later in life.

If you’re single, do you feel doomed that no man your age will want you?

“Am I attractive enough?” and “Is he still attracted to me?” are questions that plague most women throughout our lives.

This myth could have you living in fear, or leave you angry and bitter. Hey, guess what’s super unattractive to men? An angry, bitter woman.

When men go younger, it has everything to do with being able to impress her. What comes along with the distinguished gray hair is the need to be admired, and men are pretty insistent about this as a core need of theirs. This is also not a need that women his age are often willing to pony up.

So, when they start dating younger women, we’re stuck thinking, “I’m past my prime. He wants younger women and that’s it.”

But here’s the thing: He doesn’t care about how young the woman he’s dating is — he wants appreciation and playfulness.

If you got tangled up in these three lies, there’s hope! It’s possible to turn it all around. Replace these lies with some fundamental truths:

  • Men want sex (just like you do). They also want intimacy, connection, love, and companionship.
  • Men commit to the whole package. So, it takes a little longer for most guys to find their forever person.
  • Men want lasting love with someone who can be playful, admire him, and see and appreciate him for the man he’s become. When he’s met with that kind of respect and adoration in a long-term marriage or partnership, what he says next is, “I could have never done it without you.”

Men aren’t a total mystery, but they aren’t the same as women, either. Our different chemistry means that men don’t always do things the way women would, which often leaves us feeling hurt, dismissed, unappreciated, or unseen.

Written by Wendy Newman

Hi. It's me, Wendy Newman.I'm a dating and relationship expert and a media celebrated author. I write, advise, assist and help women just like you find love and stay in love. So far I've helped over 50,000 women (since 2002) and I'm really looking forward to working with you.My book, 121 First Dates: How to Succeed at Online Dating, Fall in Love and Live Happily Ever After (Really!) has garnered praise from Access Hollywood, The Wall Street Journal, The Huffington Post, The Chicago Tribune, The Washington Post, Glamour, Self, and more.

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