You try to pretzel yourself and/or every potential partner you meet into that belief system, often with disastrous results.
You want to find the special person with whom you can share true love and a deep bond, and make a life with them.
But if that erroneous belief in the “ideal” is blinding you to what’s actually happening in the relationship, and if it’s blinding you to another’s bad behavior or ill-treatment of you, you’re unlikely to reach that “ideal” you so desire.
As mentioned above, there is a better approach to building a better (and healthier) relationship with your soulmate.
Even if you and your significant other are fortunate enough to mutually fall in love at first sight, there are some things that still need to happen in order for you to know if this is truly your mate (either true soulmate and/or life partner).
The good news? You get to choose whether or not to participate in the relationship, to improve and positively influence it, or to let it go.
Here are the 3 steps to do it:
Steps to Positively influence your relationship
So for starters: date.
By that I mean, interact with each other, spend time together, talk with each other about the things you enjoy; whether that’s opera or sports, trivia games or Shakespeare’s sonnets.
If you keep an open mind and focus on the interactions, you’ll know very soon whether this person is going to remain just a “date” rather than a soul mate. Or you may find he is a soul mate who is not a life mate. Or happily, you both realize you have found your life mate in each other.
Ask yourself, “How does this person treat me? How do I treat him?” Along with the giddy, riding on the roller coaster flush of love and passion, is there respect and consideration in your treatment of each other?
When he says he will do something, does he actually follow through? Do you?
If what people are feeling, saying, and doing are all consistent, the foundation is there for loving and healthy relationships. In other words, these things can show you if you are able to mate — to be soulmates who are also life partners.
If things seem to be hitting a major snag it’s time to take a deep breath, step back, and evaluate. Are there changes you can make to your behavior? Compromising on things like activities and accommodating each other’s preferences can be great ways to build on your relationship.
This week, it may be pizza and watching sports for him. Next weekend might be sushi and a museum visit for you.
You can also practice active listening with your partner to find the best communication style for both of you. In this way, you hear what he is saying and he can also learn to truly hear you.
All of these are examples of healthy adaptation and can bring about positive changes and growth. These are ways to improve and build your relationship with your soul mate.