5. Depression exhausts and consumes a person, which is why you can’t take their behavior personally.
Relentless exhaustion is a common side effect of depression. Just getting out of bed in the morning can be an overwhelming and excruciating experience. Also, someone suffering from depression may feel OK one moment and feel completely depleted the next, even if they’re eating right and getting plenty of sleep. This can result in them canceling plans, departing get-togethers early, or saying no far more often than you’d like. Just remember it’s not about you – it has nothing to do with what you did or didn’t do. These are just some of the prevalent side effects working through depression.
Do your best to never take anything they do too personally. People can only give to others what they have, and depression takes almost everything away from a person. All your actions and words should come from a place of love, but that doesn’t mean your depressed loved one will always be loving in return, and that’s OK. When you do not take things personally, you liberate yourself – you open yourself to loving someone who truly needs you, freely, and without letting needless expectations get in the way of the immeasurable amounts of affection you are capable of giving.
I’d like to riff a bit more on my point above about the fact that “people can only give to others what they have.” Remember, this applies to YOU too. Caring for a depressed loved one can be fatiguing. If you don’t properly take care of yourself, you cannot properly take care of them no matter how hard you try. You may be able to be there physically, but if your mental and emotional reserves are depleted, you will have very little to give.
So set some love and care aside for yourself too. Refill your bucket on a regular basis. That means catching up on sleep, making time for fun and laughter, eating healthy enough to maintain peak energy levels, and otherwise making time for recovery from the pressures of loving someone through their depression.
If you have experience with helping a loved one cope with depression, or if you have anything to add to the list above, I would love to hear from you. Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights.
Source – Marcandangel