2 am…and I am consumed by you!

V.H.Kyumana

2 am...and I am consumed by you!

My deep slumber is disturbed by a dream that was neither peaceful nor erotic, just ordinary- with blurred recollection of what it was all about. I am awake. The first thing that I do is extend my arm to the left side of my bed hoping to hold you as I turn that way…only to be met with emptiness- occupied with pillows that used to be yours.

I reach out and run my arms where you use to sleep. Moving closer, I lay my head on your pillows and inhale a distinct male scent that is yours. Realizing for the hundredth time that it’s fading and soon I won’t be able to smell you at all. My frown deepens- and I wonder what will I do then? How will I remember you in my bed?

As I lay awake knowing that sleep won’t come any time soon- my thoughts drift towards you- and my heart picks up its rate and I feel a painful tug there so I use my arm to try and soothe the ache. It’s futile. I miss you and I hurt at the same time. Nights like this, I always wonder; do you ever think of me too? Do you reach for me in bed hoping to draw me close to your side the way you use to? Do you miss me? Do you still hurt?

I learned last week from a friend that you have found somebody else and that you are happy. I can’t say that I am displeased by the knowledge; though I can ascertain that I am not happy about it at all. I guess having these two conflicting feelings exist inside me is what it means to be human. However, I wonder how much happiness does she bring into your life- is it more than I use to give you or just ordinary happiness? Is there ordinary happiness?  Do you hold her in bed like you use to hold me? Do you reach out to her like you use to reach out for me?

How do I get answers to these questions? And if I do get them, will they make me feel better? Help me to hurt less and sleep gracefully past 2am…

I don’t know. And maybe I will never know.

So I turn my back on your side of the bed and try to get back to sleep. But I can’t…you are all I can think about and I am tired of giving you my 2am’s. But you rob me of them anyway. Every day.  May be someday I will claim them back…but for now, thoughts of you consume me way past 2am.

,

— Share —

— About the Author —

V.H.Kyumana

Leave a Reply

— Follow Us —

Up Next

My Rendezvous With Life

My Rendezvous With Life

The treacherous waters of existence hail in their stride,As the beauty of sailing against the winds uproars in its ride.Benevolence in its yonder stirs the mirth of the true,Navigating the turbulent waves, death and I had a rendezvous.

I sought the beauty of the light that was unseen,In the depths of my muse, I found my world within.Life in its flair, trudged me into the emblems of the dark,The dreams that perspired in the seed embraced their death,As it was time for a new quest to embark.

Quaint whispers that echoed in their gallant stance,The jeers that surmounted the uncertainty galloped in their dance.Silencing the wind, bestriding the fall,I plunged into the entirety of my endeavours that call

For I chose to befriend the walk that marked the

Up Next

The Power of Understanding Your Love Language

The Power of Understanding Your Love Language

Love is the purest emotion one feels towards themselves and another individual. While the expression of love can vary in its entirety from one person to another, the care we hold for the ones we love shares an undeniable impact on how we forge our perceptions of interpersonal relationships. The way we communicate our feelings to someone also says a lot about how we are wired, the method of conveying our affection to our beloved ones is called a love language. You may express affection to the one you love regularly, but do you take the time to ensure that you are communicating it in the way that the other person prefers? Even love can become lost in translation when two individuals speak different love languages.

What are the five love languages?

Up Next

The Beauty Of Gratitude In A World Full Of Cynicism

The Beauty Of Gratitude In A World Full Of Cynicism

Ever acquainted with the phrase that the world that you exist in, the life that you embody dwells in the perception of the stance you hold for yourself. The beauty and the tragedy of life is that it is as beautiful as the optimistic lens of perception and as ugly as the pessimistic view of your being.

The strive of our endeavours and the constant effort to achieve the next massive milestone often drive us to the edges of insanity, to be in the consistent light of greatness we lose sight of the great strings of joy that bind our existence together. To be the best we have ever been we must be mindful of the best we are. Coinciding in the traps of negativity and yet claiming to be the best version of yourself is a blinding truth that lies to only

Up Next

I Breathe In The Sauntering Air That Collapses My Being

I Breathe In The Sauntering Air That Collapses My Being

I breathe in the sauntering air that collapses my being,I breathe through the crevices of my existence unseen.Uncertainty in its yonder strikes in bolt on the scars that nobody sees,Redemption that loves, redemption that is free, find me in the depths of my poetry.

Tales of lust ridden in smeared touches that belie,Entreated with envy, the visions of victory lie.To be or not to be in a question that yet lies,For I yearn for a world where fond passion never dies.

Enclasped in the cage of the deemed duty,Bounded in her vows, she forgot she was a thing of beauty.In a realm we live, where amour in its truth fails to stand tall,She, tired of her existence, submerges herself into the beauty that her dreams enthrall.

Chaos in its uproar hails in its darkness

Up Next

The Impact of Conflict on Workplace Productivity and Morale

The Impact of Conflict on Workplace Productivity and Morale

Conflict is a natural element of any dynamic whether it is personal or professional and knowing how to deal with it becomes an essential in any aspect of life. Conflicts in the workplace can arise for matters as trivial as difference in personal beliefs to matters such as project completions, working styles, deadlines, project goals and different outlooks towards work. For the sake of development and productivity, these disputes must be settled quickly and professionally. Understanding how conflicts arise and how to resolve them can help managers advance in their careers. We’ll go over what conflicts are, their different kinds, and the typical reasons why team members argue in this edition of The Wellness Digest.

What does conflict mean in the job?

Up Next

Identify The Wounds Of Your Childhood

Identify The Wounds Of Your Childhood

Being aware of the wounds of your childhood allows you to gain an understanding of yourself, including your emotions, behaviours, and thought patterns. Awareness is the first step towards healing, and acknowledging past wounds empowers you to address and work through emotional pain.

1. Wound of rejection

Childhood Impact: As a child, I felt like no one accepted me for who I was.

Adult Protection Strategy: Now, if someone or something makes me feel rejected, I tend to run away. I hide, isolate myself, and avoid everyone, even those who care about me. It’s like I believe everyone rejects me, and I don’t fit in.

2. Abandonment

Up Next

The Art of Self-Transformation: Tips for Personal Growth and Development

The Art of Self-Transformation

The journey of life often strikes us with a monotonous tone of finding chaos and distress in the mundanity of our daily lives. Not achieving what we set our mind to and being stuck in a downward spiral of self-doubt and self-pity is often a sign that something in our life is not going the right way. We need to take a step back and reevaluate the present situation we are in. Here are some concrete steps that you can follow to embrace change and become a better version of yourself.

1) Swot analysis –

One of the most important steps to understanding yourself is to assess your present situation and draw out the areas of your strengths,