Professional napping is a skill: a masterful art form that is really, very under-appreciated.
You are part of an elite group of people, who can only truly appreciate that feeling you get when you achieve a Holy Grail Nap:
- All of your major life problems are solved by a nap: when you wake up from your nap, either the problem has disappeared or has gotten so big that you can’t do anything about it anyways.
- Actually, almost everything in your life is solved with a nap. You don’t make decisions without it.
- No one messes with your naps….You ain’t fucking with my nap.
- You have canceled on people because of your nap time…
- And are perpetually late to dates because you can’t survive social interactions without it.
- You don’t feel guilty anymore…I mean, a nap can make the difference between you hating or loving everyone.
- You have come to the realization that napping for three hours on a Friday afternoon is the closest you’ll ever get to heaven.
- You have been betrayed by your holy act though…
- Like when you try to take a 20 minute nap, and then wake up 8 hours later confused as to what century you’re in.
- You then spend the next few hours looking like Lil Wayne.
- Sometimes you just have so much to do that you just decide to take a nap.
- Couches, chairs, floors…..are all wonderful opportunities just waiting for you to nap on.
- You have absolutely no shame on the weekend when you go back to sleep only a few hours after waking up.
- The struggle gets real when you have to decide between getting food or napping for just a little bit longer. (The nap always wins).
- Anything you do that makes you feel proud, gets rewarded by a nap. 10 crunches? I think that deserves a little nap.
- You get outrageously jealous of animals like cats who just get to nap all day long.
- Your friends know what’s up if you don’t text them back for hours…
- You probably got a little too excited reading this and are now drooling at the thought of taking your precious nap today.