15. Things Aren’t a Two-Way Street:
We feel let down and like the only one “giving”. Things are one way for them and another for us. We feel like we don’t count. They can use our car or take our money to go meet someone for lunch, but we can’t freely borrow their iPad let alone their car (if they have one.) – When they do use our things they “adopt” them as if our Kindle or book bag is now theirs. We do their laundry or stop by and feed their dog, but they’re unreliable or absent for us. Their birthday is a big deal, ours is not – usually, we get nothing on our birthday from them. We’re tending to their needs – and it seems expected, while they ignore our needs – unless – by reciprocating they get: money, access to others to use, or a place to live, or something else they want.
16. We Feel We’re Being Lied To:
Things aren’t adding up. When they say certain things there’s a lurch in the pit of our stomach that floats up to shimmer in the back of our mind: somethings not right. (And then sometimes they say the oddest things, that make no sense like: “You only thing you love me. If you knew who I really was you wouldn’t love me.”)
17. We Feel Like We’re in a Nightmare:
We know we have no idea what’s going on. This is like nothing we’ve ever known. We’re scared out of our gourd. We’ve done what people do in relationships and tried, and tried and nothing has changed except now we’re in danger, scared and terrified. – Now, instead of feeling, we’ll die without them, we feel we’ll die because of them. We know they could kill us.
Confusion, Exclusion, and Fear Add Up to Danger and Signal We’re Being Used
These feelings signal this person isn’t into us for a normal or genuine reason. We’ve been put in a box for their personal use or gain and “normal” is never going to happen. Confusion and self-doubt are effects of the emotional or physical assault.
These feelings signal our “mate” has a life they keep us from. They more than likely have a past or current life we know nothing about. They may be married, live with someone, have children we don’t know about. Have habits that are destructive, criminal records or behavior that’s considered a crime – or behavior that if it isn’t considered a crime – it should be.
Having these feelings within a relationship or friendship indicates our friend or partner is a narcissist (NPD). Or – A much more serious danger: an antisocial psychopath – known as a sociopath – commonly known as a scammer, or con man or con artist. Sociopaths cannot have genuine relationships and only bring inevitable harm.
Trust Our Gut – Our Instincts Have Real Meaning
We don’t have feelings for anything. They are proof. Proof we’re being used, disrespected, deceived and worse – which means the person we’re involved with is using us and has no genuine feelings of care or love for us. – This is not because of us – it’s because of them.
Our feelings are the proof. There’s no more proof needed.
People like this cannot change. A sociopath wouldn’t want to change if they could. This is a situation that will only escalate in harm and danger to us. It could be said these aren’t relationships, but an invasion or take-over for the convenience of the user. – A crime of deception. We’re being used.
Trust our gut. We don’t have these feelings without reason. Stand up for our lives. Give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. We’re worthy and deserve all good things in life and love.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to thrive!