A few sweet words for your spouse can take you both a long way in the journey you started together.
5. Give up the need to fix your partner
Instead of savoring, loving and praising one another, nurturing the existing relationship, we waste our precious time and energy seeking perfection, in ourselves and in our partners.
Every human beings have his/her vices which make them who they are. Just as their potentials, their adversities too make them seem more humane. A relationship is not about ‘fixing’ or ‘mending’ those flaws in your partner. Instead, your work is to accept each other the way you both are and make a few adjustments here and there.
A true bond is not about how perfect you both are but about how perfectly you handle each others imperfection.
“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” ~ Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
6. Give up your jealous behavior
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity. – Robert A. Heinlein
The root cause of jealousy is insecurity. Neither of the partners will feel jealous if they work on their individual insecurities. A relationship based on emotional intimacy, understanding and transparency will not bread jealousy as two individuals in such a relationship consider themselves a team rather than two separate individuals competing with each other.
7. Give up blaming each other
Most of what happens to us is in our hands, no matter how much we want to circumvent this fact. It’s easier to project your mistakes and loopholes on an external factor – your partner, as it gives you a chance to escape accountability. Start taking responsibility for your own actions.
The more you be egoistic about your faults and project it on to your partner, the toxic your marriage gets. You have to stop yourself swirling in the path of guilt tripping and blame shifting with your partner.
Tell everyone you know: “My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.” And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they’re doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel-and then, you’ll love them all. Because the only reason you don’t love them, is because you’re using them as your excuse to not feel good. – Esther Hicks
8. Give up the need to always be right
Remember when you and your partner first started dating? Remember how beautiful and how lovingly you spoke to one another?
Back then, you focused more on how this person made you feel and how you made this person feel, instead of focusing on whether this person was right or wrong. A relationship is not an exam – there’s no need to evaluate each other’s actions and mark them every time.
Common courtesy plays a big role in happy marriages. People who are permanently married are polite to one another. They don’t want to hurt one another’s feelings, and they don’t try to make the other one feel humiliated. People who are married for life are extremely kind to one another. Frank Pittman
9. Give up on being clingy
Self-reliance is a very celebrated characteristic in an individual, no matter you are single or not. Marriage of-course means being there for each other, being supportive of each other, emotionally catering for each other and understanding each other. These does not included being clingy to each other.