13 Ways Manipulators Use Passive Aggressiveness To Manipulate and Abuse You

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Simply, describe their behavior and explain the effect it has on you and the relationship in factual terms. Using words such as:

When you do X, I feel Y and I believe it would be better for our relationship if instead we try Z

It’s all about having strong boundaries, which are key to signaling to them how you expect to be treated.

There are even times when you can find yourself acting passive aggressively.  I have.

There was one time when I started to use sarcasm and put-downs to covertly bully my husband.  I wasn’t even aware I was doing it at the time.

It was when certain events impacted our relationship and we fell into an unhealthy parent-child dynamic.

Thankfully, I recognized this and that it was coming from a place of insecurity within both of us.




I learned love is a verb, not a noun.  To get us back on track I needed to show him I loved him with my actions, not just words.

We both needed to nurture our boundaries, sense of self-esteem and self-worth.

So, back to her question:

Is passive aggressiveness a part of the dynamic?   A form of emotional abuse?

The answer is: Yes. In codependent relationships, definitely.

Passive anger or passive-aggressiveness is a form of emotional abuse.  Coercive control.

It’s aimed at making the other person feel small, so they can feel greater about themselves.

Related Video: Things Narcissists Do

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Originally appeared on VivianMcGrath.com
Written by Vivian Mc Grath
Printed with permission from author

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13 Ways Manipulators Use Passive Aggressiveness To Abuse You