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10 Signs of Toxic Family Enmeshment and How It May Impact You As An Adult

Signs Toxic Family Enmeshment Impact You As Adult

2. Set boundaries and respect your right to say “no”.

Boundaries are an essential step in learning how to overcome your enmeshment patterns. You absolutely need to focus on how you feel around others and what is okay vs. not appropriate.

Putting your foot down and drawing a line can feel uncomfortable at first. But don’t worry, everyone experiences pangs of discomfort when learning new skills – and that is what boundary setting is: a skill you hone. Read more about setting clear boundaries.

3. Learn to enjoy being alone.

Growing up in an enmeshed environment can make it hard to spend time alone in solitude. You may feel lonely, bored, or depressed when alone because you have not learned to enjoy your own company. To strengthen your sense of self, try setting time aside each week to be alone. Make your alone time enjoyable by setting yourself tasks that you love doing like gardening, painting, cooking, writing, reading, or anything that relaxes you.

You might like to dedicate your alone time to practicing self-care, such as making yourself a soothing bubble bath, listening to music, doing yoga, or sitting outside in nature. I also recommend some form of journaling that involves keeping a private journal in which you record your thoughts and feelings. This is a wonderful way to differentiate yourself from others. (Note: you don’t have to be a writer, write long paragraphs or be good at spelling – even just a few words or sentences will do.)

Related: 10 Tips To Deal With Toxic Family Members Without Losing Your Mind

4. Read lots of books and take personality tests.

Self-discovery and self-awareness will be important parts of your journey if enmeshment is an issue for you. One of the most interesting and exciting ways I began differentiating myself from others was through self-help books and personality tests.

There are tons of brilliant self-help books out there such as Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence and the old gem How to Be Your Own Best Friend by Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz. You can also find many tests on our website in our free tests section.

5. Practice the fine art of self-love.

Learn how to love and accept who you are. I encourage you to practice self-discovery (mentioned above) alongside self-compassion. Strive to take care of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. If this sounds overwhelming, I encourage you to check out my free self-love guide: How to love yourself.

Regain Your Personal Sovereignty

The entire point of this article has been to help and inspire you to regain your personal sovereignty. Personal sovereignty is the ability to be the ruler of your own life and to clearly understand (and meet) your own needs, desires, and dreams. I hope you have a few more paths now to explore on your journey of healing and wholeness.

I’d love to hear any of your thoughts or personal stories about enmeshment below.

Much love.

Written by Aletheia Luna
Originally appeared on

13 Signs You’re Suffering From Toxic Family Enmeshment
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10 Signs of Toxic Family Enmeshment and How It May Impact You As An Adult
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Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a spiritual counselor and professional writer, Luna's mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. See more of her work at lonerwolf.comView Author posts