How to Step into Your Power and Overcome Enmeshment
Here are a variety of practices you might like to explore to help strengthen your sense of self:
1. Be a detective: explore your own interests
Finding out what you’re passionate about is an exciting path. Yes, you might feel a little confused or dazed at first, but keep persisting. Exploring interests outside of your relationships will give you more personal autonomy. More autonomy = a stronger sense of self = more personal empowerment. Try researching hobbies online. Pay attention when anything catches your interest or when you would secretly like to do the same thing as another person. For example, I discovered my passion for alcohol ink after stumbling across a few beautiful pieces of art online. I then decided to invest in a small course and learn the basics, and later bought my own inks to experiment with.
2. Set boundaries and respect your right to say “no”
Boundaries are an essential step in learning how to overcome your enmeshment patterns. You absolutely need to focus on how you feel around others and what is okay vs. not appropriate. Putting your foot down and drawing a line can feel uncomfortable at first. But don’t worry, everyone experiences pangs of discomfort when learning new skills – and that is what boundary setting is: a skill you hone. Read more about setting clear boundaries.
3. Learn to enjoy being alone
Growing up in an enmeshed environment can make it hard to spend time alone in solitude. You may feel lonely, bored or depressed when alone because you have not learned to enjoy your own company. To strengthen your sense of self, try setting time aside each week to be alone. Make your alone time enjoyable by setting yourself tasks that you love doing like gardening, painting, cooking, writing, reading or anything that relaxes you. You might like to dedicate your alone time to practicing self-care, such as making yourself a soothing bubble bath, listening to music, doing yoga, or sitting outside in nature. I also recommend some form of journalling which involves keeping a private journal in which you record your thoughts and feelings. This is a wonderful way to differentiate yourself from others. (Note: you don’t have to be a writer, write long paragraphs or be good at spelling – even just a few words or sentences will do.)
4. Read lots of books and take personality tests
Self-discovery and self-awareness will be important parts of your journey if enmeshment is an issue for you. One of the most interesting and exciting ways I began differentiating myself from others was through self-help books and personality tests. There are tons of brilliant self-help books out there such as Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence and the old gem How to Be Your Own Best Friend by Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz. You can also find many tests on our website in our free tests section.
5. Practice the fine art of self-love
Learn how to love and accept who you are. I encourage you to practice self-discovery (mentioned above) alongside self-compassion. Strive to take care of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. If this sounds overwhelming, I encourage you to check out my free self-love guide: How to love yourself.
Regain Your Personal Sovereignty
The entire point of this article has been to help and inspire you to regain your personal sovereignty. Personal sovereignty is the ability to be the ruler of your own life and to clearly understand (and meet) your own needs, desires, and dreams. I hope you have a few more paths now to explore on your journey of healing and wholeness.
I’d love to hear any of your thoughts or personal stories about enmeshment below.
Related Video : Why It’s Okay To Cut Toxic Family Members Out of Your Life
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Written by Aletheia Luna
Originally appeared on Lonerwolf.com
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