If you learn nothing, the risk is that you’ll be drawn to the same people, with the same baggage (yours and theirs), live out the same type of relationship, and go through the same type of ending. And really, that’s such a waste of you.
5. We’re All On A (Big Breath) Journey, But Sometimes Things Are Just Freaking Unfair.
Confession. I actually hate that word – ‘journey’ – when it’s used like that. I hate it more than alarm clocks. ‘Journey’ is too much of a ‘holiday’ word and holiday words tend to suggest that you can opt-out of the ‘carry your own stuff’ option but life isn’t like that. We all have to carry our stuff. What’s important is not carrying too much of anyone else’s.
We’re all here to grow and to learn lessons and generally, lessons don’t come wrapped in something sweet with a ‘Here’s a little reminder for when you’re ready, Gorgeous,’ card on the top.
They come with a smash and a bang, or whatever it takes to get our attention. Nearly always (maybe always) they come to us by way of the relationship. Beauty will always emerge from chaos, eventually.
6. Everything We Need Is In Us. (But Sometimes It’s Cake. Ourselves And Cake.)
Everything we need to survive life and flourish is in us. Sometimes it’s layered under the losers we’ve loved, the lessons we’ve taken on but shouldn’t have, or the rules we no longer need but still live by.
If the things you’ve always done, or the rules you’ve always abided by are causing you trouble, it might be time to let them go. Maybe. Too many times we let things sit there and claim a space in us, even though they offer us nothing at all. Take a fresh look at things.
Every person on the planet has had to go through something.
If something isn’t working for you anymore, get rid of it. The things that will work will be quick to take their place. This might feel awkward for a while and that’s okay. Like new shoes, new ways of being in the world need to be worn in. Don’t hang on to the ones that are blistering your soul when there is something there that will nurture it beautifully if you let it.
7. There’ll Be Bumps In The Road.
There’ll be bumps in the road. Wish there wasn’t, but there will be. You’ll have two options – over or through. Actually, there is a third option – to stand still, but that will only diminish you, never the bump.
When there’s something in your way, chances are that you won’t feel okay okay until you’re safe and sound on the other side. Bumps aren’t called bumps because they feel good. They’re called bumps because they’re jarring and sometimes they hurt. Like any bump in any road though, sometimes the only way through is through. But however big that bump might be, there is always smooth ground on the other side.
8. You’ll Feel Alone At Times.
At times you’ll wonder why everyone else’s path looks as though it does not only bump-free but is lined with happy selfies and ‘Loving Life!!!’ Facebook status updates. This can make the pain of troubled times feel worse.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that just because other people’s bumps don’t line up at the same point in the path as yours that they don’t exist. They do. They do for everyone. It’s what makes us human.
Every person on the planet has had to go through something. Maybe not at the same time as you, and maybe not in the same way as you, but everyone has loved, lost, been hurt, scared or heartbroken. We all come of out it with bruises and scars. Claim them as proof that you survived and will continue to thrive.
9. Some Days, The Best You’ll Be Able To Do Is Breathe. And That’s Okay.
Who hasn’t had one of these days? Maybe more than one. And maybe for longer than a day. Know that it’s okay to fall down, fall apart, and feel like you can’t get up. Stay there for a little while – it’s healing and important. Just don’t decide to live there.
10. That Thing You Can’t Stop Thinking About. Do That.
If you can’t stop thinking about it, it’s worth trying. So just start. Stop thinking about what there is to lose (there’ll probably be plenty), and start thinking about what there is to gain (there’ll always be more).
And don’t try to predict your path. When you’re doing the right thing, you’ll have passion, energy, creativity, and resources that you never imagined. But they can’t show up for you until you do.