Outgoing people with anxious mind or the tendency of people to think obsessively about things, tend to feel anxiety the most intensely, often because we don’t share about it with others. And often means never.
People often hold certain bias about anxious people. They believe that anxious people can’t be outgoing, straightforward or social and vice versa. This increases the growing chances of misunderstanding around anxious people.
Our anxiety is a contrast to our big, bold personalities. Strangers would never guess it. We never know when to fight or flight, and our self-angst is maxed out.
We are often the life of the party but can also be mind-numbingly introspective, questioning everything and anything happening around us. We can be dancing away our stress but could be observant about the other people in the party too.
Here are the 11 struggles of having an outgoing personality but an anxious mind:
1.Our day normally goes something like this:
Anxiety: Okay but what if…?
Me: Homie we went over this a thousand times and we totally resolved it.
Anxiety: Yeah but I’ve looked at it from a new angle and there are like 15 more reasons why you should worry about it.
Me: Go on.
2. We’re kind of a conundrum because we have a love hate relationship with people.
Our over-thinking and our apprehensive nature does not let us immediately trust in someone. In fact this makes us extremely selective of our friends.
But once we have formed our circle, we keep it genuine and committed.
3. We have lots of friends or acquaintances but very few close friends who we share our world with.
We have lots of acquaintances, but very few genuinely close people to share our personal weirdness with.
We could be surrounded by a sea of people but still like to spend quality time with only one special person.
4. We still find it easy to talk and connect with people
We can be charming creatures and when we do choose to grace a party with our presence, we are the life of it.
When we socialise we give the best of us. People then, are entirely unaware of our anxious core.
5. We might just wake up in the morning next day and start with our over thinking routine
“What exactly did I say to the guy at the bar yesterday after I was drunk?” “Did I flirt too much?” “Was my lipstick matching with my dress?” “What’s my name?” “Where am I?”
However trivial the thing might be, we will end up thinking about it.
6. Sometime even the smallest of things will override our nerves.
Whether it’s picking up our dry cleaning, finishing a project for work or making a call to our doctor, just the thought of having to deal with it makes our minds race.
The thought “Are we doing it right?” keeps us lost.
7. Dating is hard
Dating is hard because our partner will definitely find us weird. It becomes very difficult for us to not be over protective, over concerned and over sensitive too!