7) You feel rage.
You’re enraged at the unjust and cruel way he treated you. One minute you’re so mad at him you want to beat his head in with your high heel—and next minute a sickening, tidal-wave of grief and tears engulf you.
8) You unjustly blame yourself.
You intensify your trauma by blaming yourself for the failure of your dysfunctional relationship. You’re thinking is irrational; he berates and abuses you, you wrongly believe that you did something to trigger his hurtful behavior and you’re consumed by guilt, regret and sorrow.
9) You’re fearful.
The thought of being alone paralyzes you. You’re afraid of what is going to happen to you without him in your life. You’re afraid you won’t be able to take care of yourself.
10) You’re in denial.
You can’t believe that your relationship is over. You keep hoping, praying and dreaming that he will call you, he will ask for your forgiveness, you will reconcile with him and things will go back to the way they were in the beginning when he was loving, affectionate and caring.
11) You relive hurtful memories.
You rehash the hurtful conversations and the abusive events of your relationship. It’s a never ending horror movie that plays over and over in your head. You can’t begin the healing process because you’re stuck in the past.
12) You sedate your emotional pain.
You drink, smoke pot or you take recreational drugs excessively. The more you drink and dope up, the more depressed you become. You’re on a path of self-destruction.
Acceptance is the hardest part of grieving.
Giving up the hope of reconciliation with your loved one feels like death. Accepting the brutal fact that you will never again see him, talk to him or touch him feels incomprehensible.
But the man you grieve for is an illusion.
You fell in love with a wonderful man. In the beginning, he was loving and lovable, charming, supportive and attentive, but soon his true nature reared its ugly head. He lied to you. He cheated on you. He mentally battered you and he physically assaulted you.
Realizing that you were in an abusive relationship is the first step to healing.
The sooner your trauma is addressed, the better chance you have of fully recovering.
You have experienced a serious harmful event that has damaged your self-esteem, personal security and core spirit. Don’t try to white knuckle your recovery. Your need professional help to restore your mental, spiritual and physical well-being. You may be suffering from situational depression and need antidepressants or anti-anxiety drugs. You need psychological guidance to address the post-traumatic effects of an abusive relationship and start the grieving process.
Your recovery won’t happen overnight, but hopefully a year from now, when you are enjoying happy hour margaritas with your friends, you will ask, who in the hell was that ugly, horrid man?
Become a Contributor at The Minds Journal
Written by Nancy Nichols
Originally appeared on KnowItNancy.com
You may also like
- 5 Good Reasons To Leave a Narcissist
- 8 Things To Expect When You Break Up With A Narcissist
- What Is Post-Narcissist Stress Disorder (PNSD)? and its 3 Major Symptoms
- 10 Ways To Go Through A Breakup Without Feeling Miserable
- Breakups Suck And These 5 Things Will Only Make It Worse
- 3 Sneaky And Scary Breakup Tactics Of A Narcissist
- 7 Life-Changing Lessons To Learn From A Bad Breakup
- Things I Learned From My Breakup in my 30’s