9. Learning the mathematics of true love and addictive love
When we look for a partner to make us whole, we experience addictive love: “I’ve got to have him/her or I’ll die.” The math is ½ x ½ = ¼. The longer we’re together the smaller we become. When we look to our partner to help us heal and grow, we are on the path of true love. The math is 1 + 1 = Infinity.
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10. Turning back towards our lover and committing to being real
Being real is not sweetness and light. It is passionate, painful, and creative. Much like making a baby and giving birth. Being real requires being part of a pair. Self-actualization is not something we do by ourselves.
11. Love is letting go of fear
All our unhappiness and illnesses are fear-based. We’re afraid of losing what we have or not getting what we need. We always have two choices. Do we feed the fear or do we feed the love? Whichever one we feed gets stronger.
12. Accepting that real, lasting love is a journey, not a destination
Real, lasting love is something we create every minute of every day. It’s the most difficult thing we do in our lives. It is also the simplest. But simple isn’t always easy. Learning to love is the graduate school of life. Admission is free but will cost you everything you have. Are you ready for the journey of true love?
So what is your experience when it comes to true and lasting love? Have you found that special someone or are you still on the lookout for them? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Written by Jed Diamond Ph.D Originally appeared in The Good Men Project Republished with permission
