Julia had been dating Rob for 3 months when suddenly he started to get very possessive of her. He didn’t want her spending any time without him. If she wanted to go out with her friends, he had to come. If she needed to go run errands, he made her pick him up to go with her. He even had the nerve to tell her that she couldn’t see her children when it wasn’t her custody day. So, if her daughter had a soccer game on an unscheduled day, she wasn’t allowed to go because that would take away from her spending time with Rob.
I helped her to see how insecure Rob was. And even though she really cared about Rob, she became aware that she didn’t want to live her life being so controlled.
6. You’re always #1.
If you’re interested in someone who puts you on a pedestal, beware! You could fall off and get really hurt!
When a man lets you walk all over him, he is not your soulmate.
One of the purposes of a relationship is that our partner challenges us to be the best version of ourselves. If he is willing to do whatever you want and say whatever you want to hear, he’s not empowering you.
Yes, we all want to be adored and treated like a queen, but you should want your man to act like a king, not a doormat.
7. He keeps too much to himself.
If a man you’re interested in is making decisions or avoiding telling you something based on how he thinks you’re going to react, he’s just taken away all of your choices and is not giving you the benefit of the doubt.
Many times, we make choices based on past experiences. But, it’s not fair to assume you’ll react to something the same way his crazy ex-reacted.
Josh decided not to tell Mona that he was meeting a female friend from college for drinks one night because if he ever mentioned her to his ex-wife, she’d get furious. Mona didn’t even care that Josh had female friends, as long as he was open and honest about them.
Not telling her was the same as lying in Mona’s book, so it definitely put a strain on their relationship. Because this was a pattern for Josh, Mona broke it off in the end.
8. Sherlock Holmes is in the house!
If you feel like you have to be a detective with your man, then there is something off about your relationship.
Either you’ve got some jealousy issues you need to work out, or he is doing some shady stuff.
If you feel like you can’t trust your man, then there is no point in continuing a relationship with him.
9. He doesn’t see your worth.
If a man doesn’t value you, then he is not your One.
Usually, with this sign, there are 2 reasons for this:
- He doesn’t value himself — so how can he value you?
- You don’t value yourself — so how can he value you?
If he doesn’t value himself, then you’re wasting your time with him. It’s not your job to help him figure this out, or change him.
If you don’t get your own value, then he definitely won’t.
The people that are closest to you, friends and/or family, are usually your biggest cheerleaders. Take in all of their love and support, and begin to believe them (and me) when they tell you how fabulous you are.
And if they don’t, then it may be time to break up with them!
10. You’re always performing.
If at any time during the relationship, you feel like you can’t be yourself, then he is not your soulmate!
So many women tend to “divorce” parts of themselves when they are in a relationship.
Shelley loved to do yoga. Every morning, she was at the yoga studio. She loved how it grounded her before she went to work. When she started dating Steven, she began choosing to skip her classes so that she could stay in bed with him and cuddle in the mornings. She also wanted to make him breakfast because she wanted to show him what a great caretaker she was.