5. They will fight for you.
When you’re having a down-and-out day, your partner will be the first one to remind you how incredibly awesome you are. Your partner will be your biggest defender against conflicts with others. They will remind you of the strength you forgot you had, and give you the fighting words when you’re too upset to find them yourself.
6. They will hang on during the storms.
Conflicts in relationships are natural, but when left to fester they can destroy relationships. Fighting is normal and healthy. Fights are opportunities to work through stuff. But someone who truly loves you will never stay angry. He or she will work through the anger to get to the other side — that other side being a deeper understanding and mutual respect.
7. They will admit when they’re being a jerk.
Someone who never admits when he or she has made a mistake isn’t going to be able to love authentically. Loving means being vulnerable, and owning it when you’ve been a bona fide schmuck.
8. They will call you out on your bullsh*t.
My husband knows me well and isn’t afraid to tell me when my “baggage” is rearing its ugly head. In the moment, I want to strangle him, but ultimately, I love him for calling me out on my crap (and, of course, loving me anyway).
9. They will make you feel beautiful.
In our 22 years together, we’ve gone from being fresh-faced teenagers to exhausted parents pushing 40. But I STILL can’t change my clothes in front of my husband without him getting all oogly-eyed and silly. Now that’s love.
10. They will make you feel safe.
It goes without saying that a partner who’s physically or verbally abusive needs to be kicked to the curb. But all partners should give you a sense of safety. Usually, it’s a pretty intuitive thing. You just know when you can trust someone, and this is solidified when they demonstrate that trust to you throughout the relationship.
Finding someone who loves you doesn’t mean your relationship will be without bumps. There are no perfect people or relationships — knowing and accepting that is half the battle.
What you need is a partner is who willing to try, who wants to make the effort to understand you, whose love is generous, demonstrated in concrete actions, and not just words or ideas. Once you’ve found that person, you’ll know it in your bones. And you’ll never let them go.
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Written By Wendy Wisner
Originally appeared on Yourtango.com
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