Enemyย is such a harsh word, donโt you think? Sure; there are people you disagree with. But can you really call them your enemies? Well, when people try to lower your morals, hurt you, and bring you down, then yes โ weโre talking about enemies. You cannot be loved by everyone, no matter how hard you try.
Look at Anne Hathaway. Sheโs absolutely perfect. She is beautiful, she is a great actress, and she always has the perfect answers in interviews. Still, the public hatred burst against her has been going on for years. This happens to everyone โ some people donโt like us and we canโt see a particular reason.
But you know what? You can learn from these episodes of hatred directed your way.
- Enemies Teach You the Most Important Lesson: Youโre Far from Perfect
Letโs say you posted something on Reddit. You just expressed an opinion, but it offended someone. Then, the hate started pouring in. Youโre getting comments from people you donโt even know. They put all your flaws under a microscope. People are brave like that, especially when acting from behind a screen.
How do you respond to this?
- You may ignore this criticism. You may continue living in your perfect little world, thinking youโre perfect and the haters donโt understand you. Or:
- Recognize your own flaws and work on them. Weโre not saying you should be hurt by comments that trolls post on your Instagram selfies. Weโre just saying that when someone stands up as a real enemy, you should search for the reason behind that attitude. Youโll find that youโre not perfect. Thatโs the first lesson to learn.
- โAn Elevated Spirit is Weak and a Low Spirit Is Weak.โ
Thatโs a quote by Miyamoto Musashi, a legendary Japanese samurai. He added something to it: โDo not let the enemy see your spirit.โ
When you get in a discussion with someone who criticizes you, you may heat up and show an elevated spirit. Youโll yell, youโll offendโฆ youโll just give them more reasons to hate you. You might also start crying and show all your weaknesses. Thatโs equally as bad.
The way of the warrior is pretty clear: you should stay focused in your intentions. In discussions, you must lay out your arguments in a calm, confident manner, without really showing your spirit.
- They Test Your Limits
Do you consider yourself to be a kind and loving person? Well, enemies test your limits. If you find it difficult to forgive them, then youโre not as loving as you thought you were. Enemies teach you about unconditional love. If you can truly forgive and let the past go, youโre working towards a better self.
- They Reflect Your Flaws
Maybe youโre the one who hates. You dislike someone although they didnโt do anything wrong. Itโs probably because you see them as similar to yourself in one way or another.
โIf you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself.โ
That was Hermann Hesse. Those are not just words; itโs a great truth that forces you to dig deep into your thoughts and emotions towards someone.
- They Teach You about Forgiveness
Can you really, truly forgive? Forgiveness is not for the sake of being likeable. Itโs for the sake of doing good for other people and for yourself. Itโs about closing a chapter and moving on. If you can forgive an enemy for hurting you badly, you can congratulate yourself for becoming a better person.
- Acceptance
Some people donโt like you. It may be your mother in law, it may be your boss, or it may be that colleague who always plays tricks on you. No matter how hard you try to change this, you canโt.
You must simply accept it as a fact: โNot everyone likes me and Iโm okay with that. I should just be my true self.โ Thatโs an important lesson to learn, donโt you think?
- Dealing with Negative Feelings
The mere thought about your โenemiesโ probably triggers feelings of anger. You may allow those feelings to overcome you, or you might take a different, more positive direction.
Detach yourself from negative feelings! Be as objective as possible about the situation and try to put yourself in their shoes. Even if you donโt understand where their anger is coming from, you can resist the urge to get into hatred yourself. Thatโs the least you can do.
- You Canโt Control Other Peopleโs Feelings
There are some things in life you can control. Other peopleโs attitude towards you is something that doesnโt belong to that category.
If someone doesnโt like you, you can try to change that. But that rarely works. If someone continues with their hatred towards you, thereโs nothing you can do. Youโre in control of yourself, but you cannot control others.
- Enemies Teach You to Value Your Friends
You donโt want to be surrounded by enemies, right? When someone hates you at work, for example, youโll build your support system by surrounding yourself with good influences. You find your true friends and you learn how to value them.
- They Teach You to Be Stronger
When hatred is directed at you, it stretches your limits. It may throw you into despair, but you wonโt allow that to happen, will you? Youโll use this experience as a trigger to grow stronger. Whenever someone comes at you with their attitude, you wonโt be afraid to stand your ground. Youโll develop strength and endurance, and youโll have your enemies to thank for that fact.
Letโs be honest: an enemy isย a strong word. Still, we face people who donโt like us, and weโre guilty of not liking others, too. These relations teach us something, but are we ready to learn the lesson?
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