He uses a combination of distortion, blaming, forgetting, stonewalling, and denial to confuse, frustrate, and drive you to the brink of insanity. He denies the truth and twists your words, putting you on the defense. He wants you to second guess yourself, doubt your reality, and your ability to reason.
8. Judging and Criticizing.
He harshly and unfairly criticizes you and then he passes it off as “constructive” criticism. If you object, he tells you he is only trying to help you to make you feel unreasonable and guilty.
He breaks his promises and he fails to follow through on agreements. He minimizes your efforts, interests, hobbies, achievements, and concerns. He trivializes your thoughts and suggestions. If you suggest a restaurant or a vacation destination, he says, “The food is awful at that place!” and “Why would you want to go to Florida; it’s nothing but a tourist trap!”
He “accidentally” forgets the things that are important to you. He forgets to pick up the dry cleaning, to make a household repair, or buy tickets to the movies. He is saying, “I’m in control of your time and reality.”
Related: 20 Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
Abusive behavior is not always verbal. Your partner may use body language or gestures to control and diminish you. For example:
- Refusing to talk or make eye contact.
- Sulking, strutting, posturing, and stomping out of the room.
- Boredom-crossed arms, showing disgust, rolled eyes, and frowning.
- Inappropriate sounds, deep sighs, words like, “Soooo!”.
- Hitting or kicking something or driving recklessly to scare you.
- Withdrawing or withholding affection to punish you.
- Patronizing, laughing at your opinion, mimicking or smirking.
- Interrupting, ignoring, not listening, refusing to respond.
- Distorting what you say, provoking guilt, or playing the victim.
- Yelling, out-shouting, or swearing to shut you down.
- Starting a sentence with, “Forget it”.
Now that you know the conniving, covert signs of emotional abuse, what are you going to about it?
Written By Nancy Nichols
Originally Published on knowitallnancy.com