8. True love does not hurt.
True love helps you with life, it’s not what makes life more difficult.
Loving relationships are consistent. There will always be times of inadvertent hurt or disappointment, even with those who truly love you. That’s life; no one can meet your every need. A comment may be taken the wrong way, your partner may be struggling with something—there is a myriad of reasons for a minor hiccup.
It’s not always smooth, but if you work at it, it works. True love helps you with life, it’s not what makes life more difficult. Love is support in a difficult world. Everything in life is not an argument or a challenge. Emotionally healthy people don’t live that way.
9. True love loves us as we are, and wants us as we are.
One plus one equals two, not one.
If someone asks you to give up interests, hobbies, friends, a job, or anything that makes you who you are, that’s not true love. And, it’s not healthy. To nest in a new relationship is normal, but after a time, you settle in and get back to your routine.
Life is about balance. Because life is busy, you may adjust how much time you give your interests and loved ones, but it’s important to maintain the fullness of who you are, just as your partner does the same. One plus one equals two, not one.
10. Finally, true love is an action from you and to you.
Act it and insist on it. Every day, whether in a relationship or not, assert that love is what you do, not what you say. And, require it. For non-love relationships, such as those with friends, co-workers, even acquaintances, respect is the action from you, and the action to you. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. In all your relationships.
Real, true love is work, and when you understand that, you will be less likely to go in and out of relationships in which you will experience anything but love. Use your time out of a relationship wisely. Build what you need to be in a healthy relationship. And then, go out and make it. And it will be real, and true, and wonderful.
Written by Jenny Kanevsky
Originally appeared in The Goodmen Project
True love might seem perfect and romantic from the outside, but what people don’t see are the efforts every couple puts into it. After all, anything worthwhile requires investment and effort.
If you want to know more about true love, then check this video out below: