You have no time or energy left to cater to your partner’s needs and wants.
Love is not about thinking only about your growth and well being but also thinking about your partner’s growth and well being.
It might be hard to accept this truth but acceptance is the first step towards improvement.
6) You withhold emotionally
When your partner visibly needs a kind word or some support, do you intentionally withhold it from them?
If you are doing this to create power dynamic in your equation or you are too out of touch of your feelings to be able to acknowledge and express them in a timely manner, you really need to work on your healing and core wound that has cut you off from your own emotions.
This trait can be extremely toxic and force your partner to withdraw from you as well and ultimately end the relationship.
7) You minimize their feelings & emotions
Minimizing your partner’s feelings and emotions is an extremely toxic form of manipulation and gas lighting.
Your partner has a right to his/her feelings, no matter how intense or irrelevant they might seem to you.
If it is too uncomfortable for you to deal with those strong emotions, you can excuse yourself from that space and give them time to process their feelings but do not try to minimize or invalidate their feelings and emotions.
8) You use manipulative techniques to get your way
If you use manipulative techniques like inducing the feelings of guilt in your partner or gas lighting them to think their emotions and thoughts are not valid or use any form of verbal or emotional abuse during fights or arguments, you are being highly toxic in your relationships.
If you hurl abuses or physically abuse your partner during a fight that is unacceptable behavior under all circumstances.
9) You make your partner feel like they are walking on eggshells
Does your partner tell you that they find you highly unpredictable and don’t know how to deal with you?
Do they tell you that your emotional outbursts or emotional withdrawal scare or confuse them?
Does your partner tell you that it feels like walking on eggshells when they are around you?
Do you think that it is only their perception and you are absolutely loving and kind?
Then, sweetheart, they are exposing you to your blind spots.
All of us have some traits that are totally oblivious to us but are well known by people around us.
If you have been getting repeated feedback about how cruel or insensitive you can get from multiple people, then it makes sense for you to stop and reflect on the feedback and correct your behavior if required.
10) You don’t know how and when to admit a mistake
No one is perfect and all of us make mistakes. If you don’t have the courage or humility to admit a mistake and make amends then you are being extremely toxic in your relationship. If you just become blind to all your mistakes and act arrogant all the time, you will turn your relationship into a power struggle instead of a kind and loving affair.
11) You are insecure and clingy
Does your life revolve around your partner?
Do you keep on checking on your partner? Are you suspicious of whom they are meeting or where they are going?
Do you feel insecure that you are not good enough for your partner and cling to them fearing they might leave you?
Well, your insecurity and clingy behavior become a self-fulfilling prophecy and your partner will actually feel suffocated and end the relationship.
12) Jealousy brings out the worst in you
Do you demand attention 24/7 from your partner?
Do you get extremely jealous if your partner goes out with their friends?
Do you get upset if your partner does not meet your demands instantly and try to emotionally manipulate them into getting your needs met?
Then, you are smothering your partner’s freedom. Love is about making the other person feel free and not making them feel like a prisoner.