People say that, “With age comes wisdom,” but a better saying would be, “With hardship comes even more wisdom.” No one matures without a hefty amount of psychological scarring.
All the hardships carry a meaning, whether it’s a breakup, a painful experience or a lifelong struggle. The truth is that the things that almost destroyed you made you into who you are today. You need a variety of life lessons before you can become the wise, respectable adult you should become.
Tim Elmore published an article in Psychology Today in which he claims there are seven signs that indicate when a child has reached maturity.
Mature people can keep long-term commitments
Adults are better than teenagers about following through with plans because they’ve been stood up before and so they know that’s not how you get through life.
Mature people are unshaken by flattery or criticism
Once you’ve seen flattery being used for evil purposes, you understand how shallow it is. Then we realize that not every relationship is safe and not every person is honest. And so we keen away from insincere compliments.
Mature people possess a spirit of humility
The most humble people are often the ones with a horrible past. They are the most giving because they’ve received the least.
Mature people’s decisions are based on character, not feelings
Character comes from developing values, and your values form after you’ve faced obstacles. Every bad experience you’ve ever had has built foundation of your character. When you’re forced to do things you don’t want to do, you’re building character.
Mature people express gratitude consistently
People develop gratitude when they’ve had to ask for help in the past. In tough times, you know what it’s like to need others and you appreciate anything you’re given. This is how you understand the value of a “thank you.”
Mature people know how to prioritize others before themselves
Empathy comes from hardship. People who knew the pain and the harm have learned how not to treat people. The people who have endured the most are the most willing to understand.
Mature people seek wisdom before acting
Many people with damaged histories are wise enough to know their own role in the pain and they’ve seen what harm they can cause themselves. This is how you develop habits to keep yourself from doing the bad things again.