If I weren’t afraid I would….- Mind Talk

If I weren't afraid I would....- Mind Talk


Have you ever asked yourself, why you hold on to someone, something or a situation for dear life?

As I have become more aware of certain patterns and have had impactful experiences in life, there is more curiosity of why did I hold on for so long to something, that I knew deep down inside wasnโ€™t for me. I had the privilege to speak with so many wonderful human beings during my life. What I have encountered not only in their stories, but also in mine; is that there is a holding on to a belief, the past, a person, a relationship, a situation, a thing and so on.

Why do we hold on to someone, something, things, situations, and our story for dear life? Having the curiosity to explore the source of my decision making process, I have come to a conclusion that it is because I was holding on basing my decision on fear. Because of fear, we make all sorts of life changing decisions, for example, staying in a marriage or relationship that is unfulfilling, staying in a job that you hate, not saying no, when you really want to say no. With fear being behind our decision-making process, it maintains us in our comfort zone. How can fear be a part of our comfort zone, you might be wondering? Even if you are choosing to stay in an unfulfilling marriage, at least you are certain of being in an unfulfilling marriage.

Lets take your relationship status for example. This is the topic that I most talk about, and learn from every day. Lets say you are with your spouse, for sometime you have felt, there is something wrong. For fear of not meeting his/hers expectations, being rejected, being alone, having to go through a process of separation, choosing to make it work, etc.; you choose to just keep quiet. You know that if you make a choice to tell them what really is going on, there might be consequences and you do not want to go through that. Fearing the unknown just keeps debilitating you. Your power is now debilitating and the fear is stronger.

I have learned that every time I have made a decision based on fear, guess what? I am back where I was before of making that choice, the only difference is there is more pain than before. Fear is such a strong motivator in life, if you choose it to be. In the caveman era, our ancestors feared being eaten by wild animals so the fight or flight in their DNAโ€™s came very handy. How about now? Are their any wild animals hunting us? There is still this survival mode in all of us, and it is part of us being human. What are we running away from? What are we so scared of, that we donโ€™t even give ourselves time to heal and we are once again running or flying from something or someone.

What if we start making decisions when we are empowered by our own strength, love, knowledge, and our higher self? Those decisions even if in that moment may cause pain, the important thing is that they are made out of self-power and not fear. What I have been asking myself lately, in the most important areas of my life has been:
Does this decision come from a source of fear or does it come from a source of empowerment? If the answer is from fear, I take a step back, meditate, acknowledge the fear and give my self-time and space to process. Then I can go back and choose something that aligns more with what I really really want. Fear serves a purpose and I welcome it into my life. What I do not let fear do, is run my life. That means being the motor that is behind my decision-making and my personal strength. I invite you to ask yourself the question of where is this big decision coming from, is it from a place of empowerment or is it from a place of fear? Remember to be kind, compassionate and loving with yourself. If not what might end up happening is that you start running or fighting yourself. And we all know that makes life more complicated. If you had to feel in the blank of the following question, what would it be? If I werenโ€™t afraid I wouldโ€ฆโ€ฆ.

Light and love,

Vanessa Rivera
www.vanessarivera.me

My Mind Talk Series, A series devoted to our readers. Does your Mind do a lot of thinking too ? Do you have questions to ask ? A Poem, A question, an article or any thought that wants to be shared. Pour them here. Click the Submit button and we will publish it on our Site. Why let that thought Sink ? Let it be free Write on.. ๐Ÿ™‚ Let the Mind Talk Begin

 

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

— Follow Us —

Up Next

My Rendezvous With Life

My Rendezvous With Life

The treacherous waters of existence hail in their stride,As the beauty of sailing against the winds uproars in its ride.Benevolence in its yonder stirs the mirth of the true,Navigating the turbulent waves, death and I had a rendezvous.

I sought the beauty of the light that was unseen,In the depths of my muse, I found my world within.Life in its flair, trudged me into the emblems of the dark,The dreams that perspired in the seed embraced their death,As it was time for a new quest to embark.

Quaint whispers that echoed in their gallant stance,The jeers that surmounted the uncertainty galloped in their dance.Silencing the wind, bestriding the fall,I plunged into the entirety of my endeavours that call

For I chose to befriend the walk that marked the

Up Next

The Power of Understanding Your Love Language

The Power of Understanding Your Love Language

Love is the purest emotion one feels towards themselves and another individual. While the expression of love can vary in its entirety from one person to another, the care we hold for the ones we love shares an undeniable impact on how we forge our perceptions of interpersonal relationships. The way we communicate our feelings to someone also says a lot about how we are wired, the method of conveying our affection to our beloved ones is called a love language. You may express affection to the one you love regularly, but do you take the time to ensure that you are communicating it in the way that the other person prefers? Even love can become lost in translation when two individuals speak different love languages.

What are the five love languages?

Up Next

The Beauty Of Gratitude In A World Full Of Cynicism

The Beauty Of Gratitude In A World Full Of Cynicism

Ever acquainted with the phrase that the world that you exist in, the life that you embody dwells in the perception of the stance you hold for yourself. The beauty and the tragedy of life is that it is as beautiful as the optimistic lens of perception and as ugly as the pessimistic view of your being.

The strive of our endeavours and the constant effort to achieve the next massive milestone often drive us to the edges of insanity, to be in the consistent light of greatness we lose sight of the great strings of joy that bind our existence together. To be the best we have ever been we must be mindful of the best we are. Coinciding in the traps of negativity and yet claiming to be the best version of yourself is a blinding truth that lies to only

Up Next

I Breathe In The Sauntering Air That Collapses My Being

I Breathe In The Sauntering Air That Collapses My Being

I breathe in the sauntering air that collapses my being,I breathe through the crevices of my existence unseen.Uncertainty in its yonder strikes in bolt on the scars that nobody sees,Redemption that loves, redemption that is free, find me in the depths of my poetry.

Tales of lust ridden in smeared touches that belie,Entreated with envy, the visions of victory lie.To be or not to be in a question that yet lies,For I yearn for a world where fond passion never dies.

Enclasped in the cage of the deemed duty,Bounded in her vows, she forgot she was a thing of beauty.In a realm we live, where amour in its truth fails to stand tall,She, tired of her existence, submerges herself into the beauty that her dreams enthrall.

Chaos in its uproar hails in its darkness

Up Next

The Impact of Conflict on Workplace Productivity and Morale

The Impact of Conflict on Workplace Productivity and Morale

Conflict is a natural element of any dynamic whether it is personal or professional and knowing how to deal with it becomes an essential in any aspect of life. Conflicts in the workplace can arise for matters as trivial as difference in personal beliefs to matters such as project completions, working styles, deadlines, project goals and different outlooks towards work. For the sake of development and productivity, these disputes must be settled quickly and professionally. Understanding how conflicts arise and how to resolve them can help managers advance in their careers. We’ll go over what conflicts are, their different kinds, and the typical reasons why team members argue in this edition of The Wellness Digest.

What does conflict mean in the job?

Up Next

Identify The Wounds Of Your Childhood

Identify The Wounds Of Your Childhood

Being aware of the wounds of your childhood allows you to gain an understanding of yourself, including your emotions, behaviours, and thought patterns. Awareness is the first step towards healing, and acknowledging past wounds empowers you to address and work through emotional pain.

1. Wound of rejection

Childhood Impact: As a child, I felt like no one accepted me for who I was.

Adult Protection Strategy: Now, if someone or something makes me feel rejected, I tend to run away. I hide, isolate myself, and avoid everyone, even those who care about me. It’s like I believe everyone rejects me, and I don’t fit in.

2. Abandonment

Up Next

The Art of Self-Transformation: Tips for Personal Growth and Development

The Art of Self-Transformation

The journey of life often strikes us with a monotonous tone of finding chaos and distress in the mundanity of our daily lives. Not achieving what we set our mind to and being stuck in a downward spiral of self-doubt and self-pity is often a sign that something in our life is not going the right way. We need to take a step back and reevaluate the present situation we are in. Here are some concrete steps that you can follow to embrace change and become a better version of yourself.

1) Swot analysis –

One of the most important steps to understanding yourself is to assess your present situation and draw out the areas of your strengths,