The Difference Between Love And Attachment

The Difference Between Love And Attachment

Learn the difference between Love and Attachment – attachment increases fear and love destroys it.

Sometimes, love and attachment gets twisted into one another. Sometimes, the lines get so blurred, that you become blind to what is happening around you. And you can’t tell what is real anymore.

According to Dr. Phillip Shaver and Dr. Cindy Hazan, about 60 percent of people have a secure attachment (which is a supportive attachment), while 20 percent have an avoidant attachment, and 20 percent have an anxious attachment.

According to Mikulincer M, Erev I. secure people put more emphasis on intimacy than avoidant and ambivalent people, which their relationships were characterized by high intimacy and congruence of real-ideal and self-partner loves. The romantic relationship of ambivalent people was characterized by their failure to understand their desire for a warm and secure love. Avoidant people experienced less intimacy than secure people, but more commitment than ambivalent people in their relationships. They were found to underestimate partners’ love and to require less intense love than secure and ambivalent people.

But, The Difference Between Unhealthy Attachment, And True Love Is In Fact Clear As Day.

1. Attachment is needing.

It’s toxic. It’s only being OK when you are with that person. It is not being able to live without them. It is thinking that they are the reason you are on this earth. It is the idea that you are not complete without that person.

Love is falling without even realizing it. It’s slow. It’s delicate. It’s being OK without that person. It’s letting that person have their own space. It’s wanting what is best for that person, even if it means not being in their life anymore. It’s accepting that sometimes, what is best for you, is not best for them.

Read on  to 3 Secrets To Achieving Love Without Attachment

2. Attachment Is Clingy.

It is 24/7 thoughts of them. It is letting other relationships fade because the one with him is the most important. It is not accepting life without them. It is not being happy on your own. It is always being afraid they will leave. It is always being anxious about your future with them.

Read on to Why You Should Never Be Sorry For Being Too Clingy

3. Love Is Accepting That What Is Meant To Be, Will Be.

It is being your own person outside of that relationship. It is being happy on your own, and with your other friendships. It is not being afraid of your future with this person. Because you are confident in that love. And you are confident it will withstand anything if that is what is meant to be.

Another perspective about the difference between love and attachment is that attachment is not seeing this persons flaws. It is thinking they are pure perfection and they can do no wrong. It is defending this person even if they hurt you. It is a constant cycle of blindness.

4. Love is fighting.

It is having real arguments about life. It is seeing this person’s flaws and accepting them. It is loving this person despite their poor qualities. It is communication about your problems. It is communication about your differences, and what makes your relationship hard. It is work. It is always hard work.

5. Attachment is easy.

Because it isn’t real. It isn’t true love. It’s just a blurry line of insecurities and self hatred.

6. Love isn’t easy.

It’s hard. It’s compromise. It’s sweat and tears. It’s hardships and reconciliation. It’s fights and makeups.

7. Attachment is just surface level communication.

It is dangerous. It is believing they are the only thing that matters in your life.

8. Love is letting them go if that is what is needed.

It is letting fate take it’s course. It is accepting that it is not meant to be. And it is being okay even if it hurts like hell. Because you know love like that will come again.And you’ll be fine.

Difference Between Love And Attachment
The Difference Between Love And Attachment

— About the Author —

Responses

Leave a Reply



Up Next

Who Is A Dismissive Avoidant? 10 Behavioral Traits and their Ghosting Phenomenon Explained

Who Is A Dismissive Avoidant? Signs Of Dismissive Ghosting

Have you ever felt like someone was so into you one minute and then vanished from the face of the earth? Hate to break it to you, but you were not just ghosted, you were “dismissive avoidant” ghosted. It’s a relationship magic trick, and definitely not the fun kind. So who is a dismissive avoidant and what is dismissive avoidant ghosting, really?

This type of ghosting comes from a place where independence is key and emotional closeness feels threatening. If you can picture someone building an invisible fortress around themselves and darting away when things get too real, that’s dismissive avoidant attachment right there.



Up Next

Why You’re Attracted To Certain People? Exploring the Science of Human Chemistry

Why You're Attracted To Certain People: Types Of Attraction

Attraction is a complex aspect of human relationships that plays an important role in shaping our romantic endeavors. Understanding why you’re attracted to certain people can offer valuable insights into your personality, experiences, and emotional needs.

Whether drawn to intelligence, kindness, or shared interests, your attractions are windows into your desires and aspirations.

From the subtle nuances to the unmistakable preferences, the different types of attraction weaves a story that reflects the threads of your inner self.



Up Next

Disorganized Attachment In Relationships: 10 Signs To Look Out For

Signs Of Disorganized Attachment In Relationships

Relationships can be complex and sometimes leave us feeling confused and emotionally overwhelmed. Have you ever experienced a rollercoaster of mixed signals and conflicting emotions with your partner? Do you find yourself wanting closeness one moment and pushing them away the next? If these questions resonate with you, you may be dealing with disorganized attachment in relationships.

In this article, we will explore disorganized attachment style, what causes disorganized attachment, signs, and impact on relationships. By understanding disorganized attachment style, you can begin to unravel the complexities that hinder your ability to form secure and harmonious connections.



Up Next

Unpacking Parentification Trauma: The Burden of Growing Up Too Soon

What Is Parentification Trauma? Seven Types, Effects and Healing

The excitement of childhood is beautiful, when your biggest worry was whether your favorite cartoon was on TV. Some kids don’t have a childhood as carefree. Parentification trauma becomes a real issue when a child is thrust into the shoes of a grown-up.

The child takes on responsibilities beyond their years. It’s like playing a role in a movie you didn’t audition for. This is the reality for those who’ve experienced the issue – a lesser-known yet impactful challenge that shapes lives in unexpected ways.

What is Parentification Trauma?

It might be your question, though–what is parentification trauma? The trauma occurs when a child is placed in a role that reverses their expected position within the family dynamic.



Up Next

Healing Attachment Wounds: 6 Strategies For Overcoming Insecure Anxious Attachment In Adults

Anxious Attachment In Adults: Six Ways To Overcome And Heal

Anxious attachment in adults is a result of negative attachment between parents and children, in childhood. This post is going to delve deep into the insecure anxious attachment style, how insecure anxious attachment in adults work, and how to overcome anxious attachment.

A childhood characterized by healthy, supportive parenting – in other words, secure attachment – is the foundation for calm and confident adulthood.

What Causes Anxious Attachment In Adults?

If you suffer from chronic anxiety you already know it’s a negative and und



Up Next

What Is An Inter-Intimate Relationship? 5 Signs To Know If You Are In One

What Is An Inter-Intimate Relationship? Five Signs

There are countless ways we express love, and we all have different needs for emotional and physical intimacy. Some couples struggle with mismatched desire, while others might find themselves in what they call “inter-intimate relationships”.

Do you find yourself in this situation? If yes, don’t worry; you’re not alone! Let’s explore how to find a balance and make it work together.

What Is An Inter-Intimate Relationship?



Up Next

Need More Affection In A Relationship? 10 Signs You Or Your Partner May Be Suffering From Touch Starvation

Ten Clear Signs Of Touch Starvation In A Relationship

From warm hugs to gentle handshakes, touch has the incredible power to connect us and make us feel alive. But what happens when we don’t get enough of it? That’s where touch starvation, also known as affection deprivation or skin hunger, comes into play.

It might sound surprising, but touch starvation is a real thing, and it can have a significant impact on our overall wel