I understand what it’s like to feel afraid of being happy. Maybe you’re hanging onto things that make you sad and you’re not even aware of it. Maybe you’re not even necessarily “sad,” but you know you’re not happy either. You’re sitting in the middle of the spectrum, balanced, merely content.

And if you do allow yourself to be extremely happy, you know that you can lose it and easily fall over to the other end of the spectrum: total sadness.

The thing you have to realize about happiness and sadness is that they’re fleeting. As a human, you’re supposed to feel those extreme emotions. You aren’t supposed to feel bad about it. These feelings come and go and that’s what makes you value the good days most. Happiness is not a destination and staying in the place of sadness (out of fear) isn’t a destination you’re supposed to stay in either.

The things that scare us most are often best for us. If something or someone is no longer giving you a good feeling, you have to let them go, even if you’re scared. Something wonderful will happen to you if you do.

You deserve to have a fulfilling life, a life filled only with things that bring happiness and joy. You shouldn’t wake up unhappy and struggle to make it through the day.

One of the hardest things about recognizing sadness is recognizing that we might be causing our own unhappiness. No one wants to admit that. No one wants to admit the reason we feel the way we do is a direct result of our own actions.

But that’s exactly what it is. We’re in control of our happiness as well as controlling our sadness. Many people fail to realize that. If we had the choice between happiness and sadness, who in their right mind would choose sadness? But without even realizing it, so many people do every day.

Don’t fear happiness. You deserve it. You deserve happiness more than anyone I know. And I want you to be happy.

Everyone is striving for the same thing, everyone wants to be happy. It’s what we all look for. So don’t think you’re alone because you’re sad. You just have to determine what makes you happy. What makes you, like, really happy. Find that thing that makes you spring out of bed and look forward to the day ahead.

It’s different for everyone. While I wish I could answer the question of what makes you happy, it’s not something I know. It’s an answer that’s within your heart and you gotta listen to it.

Be brave enough to listen to your heart even if you fear what it tells you.

“Happiness comes in many forms — in the company of good friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone else’s dream come true, or in the promise of hope renewed. It’s okay to let yourself be happy because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be.” (One Tree Hill)

Written by Kirsten Corley. For more of Kirsten’s work, follow her Facebook fan page.