The Love I can No Longer Save

“Do me just one favor, please give him the love I can no longer save” –Bea C. Pilotin

This is all about the man I love and the man I can no longer have. Yes, it’s true he loved me, not so long ago. That was before. But since you came into his life, he changed his mind; he gave up loving me and totally removed me from the equation. He didn’t love me anymore. Only then that I realized I am not the only living species on this paradise and hell-like planet. That I am not the only one breathing every ounce of air; feeling every ray of the sun and drinking every drop of water. I am not alone; that there is somebody out there- better!    

I kept this swell of loneliness and despondency to him. But it’s something I could no longer hide. Each night, the tears overflow and the happy memories come parading, grandly marching before my eyes. The bitter tears gushed out every time. He shove me away because of you; because you belong to him. I knew that life has been full of rules, values and expectations. For sometime now, I have realized that I do not deserve the love of a man who belongs to a high standard of living because I knew that I have failed to live up to his expectations and in many consequential matters dear to a man of his station in life, I may have indeed let him down. The circle would close soon, I knew. And I’m no longer lucky enough to touch the warmth of its circumference.     

If you will ask me if I still love him. Yes, I do. The kind of love that is beyond measure. It goes deeper than the abyss of ocean. It rises higher than the tallest mountain and stretches beyond the farthest sea.     

It goes beyond the limit. It goes high as the blue sky and reaches to the burning rays of the golden sun. It surpasses the counting of infinite numbers. Immeasurable as they said!     

And here’s my simple message: please take care of him for me. Love him as I do. Don’t tell him that my heart is breaking because I don’t want him to know. Take the step that both of you want to. But let me live with my own dreams. I know that I will never forget the memories of a thousand and one days we shared together and will forever haunt me for the rest of my lifetime.     

Let him forget me but please grant me this: Let me love him from a distance. Let me dream of what could have been. And now that he found happiness in your arms, let me dream, too, that he is mine.