“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings      

While passing by at a downtown subway station, I overheard someone asking this to her friend, “Why do Writers feel what we are afraid to read?” Writing a story is not quite an easy job. I considered it as one of the most crucial and sensitive job of a person because of the great responsibilities attached to it. The work of writing is so preculiar that until now I’m not so sure what kind of activity it is. Well, it’s not about flawless grammar or having a wide array of pretentious fancy or expressing a high-flown bombastic language to choose from. When I was in my College years, I always wrote articles and was giving it to a friend to read. I remembered telling her, “I have tried to write one story that I knew you’re afraid to read. I just wish that you don’t just skim through the pages and have it tucked under your armpit.” The next morning, she had one note left on top of my desk and it’s clearly written, “I had your story read just last night. One, two and three words and the earth tilted on its axis. I fell truly, madly and deeply in love. I have lost myself completely in that story and I felt I became part of it!” I sat on my seat, looked around in an empty classroom then realized my friend is a poet!

To be a Writer is not just to simply write. To be one is to hold the steering wheel on the road of wisdom! I write because words are formidable and compelling. And I can tell that writing is my true secret life. An emotional fingerprint.

Each person, one story will be different. Caitlin Matthews, the respected Teacher of Celtics traditions, discussed in her age-old stories, Celtic Love. In ten beautifully written tales of devotion, Celtic Love shares the one story worth sharing, “When the melody of love vibrates the strings, that one story is the distinctive music we shall make.”

People think that Writers are susceptible to emotional attack, like criticism. They criticize the story depending on how they understand. Some will think I am a racist. Others will think I am a narcissist. I have reached a point when I thought of giving up writing. But I realized that even if I’ll give up writing and become a dancer. These critics will still hate me and criticize how I dance. Not all people will have positive comments and to the one who  has the sharpest  criticism, I respect your opinion and admire your understanding. Get upset for a minute? Well, I do that. I get upset for a minute, I’d call a friend and complain and then I remembered the very kind words from the Editor who loved my work and those hundreds of people who have liked and shared the story I made and the people who have moved by it.

Each time my article was being published, I always learned new things on how to defuse negative comments. And everytime I see negative comment from the mouth-breathing, low I.Q critics, it made me keeps writing and writing and wrting. A sort of motivation, so to say. Because of them, I no longer get  this little shiver when I hit the “Publish” button. It’s not that scary as hell anymore. I always try to satisfy the readers and seldom please everyone. That’s fine. For as long as I am not telling unpleasant words that breaks one’s heart, I would say, I’m doing just fine. I don’t respond then after few days I found out they’re on their next victim.

But of course I didn’t forget what Shannon L. Alder have quoted, “Often those that criticize others reveal what he himself lacks.”   The last time I heard people unfairly criticized my writings…I mumbled, “OUCH, that hurts but thank you for reading my stuff, anyway. ” When people appreciate it, I write for them again the one story worth reading- perhaps a far-fetched feminine fantasy, a heart-wrenching  or heart-awakening hallucinations!

– Bea C. Pilotin