I guess I cannot wait for the day that I can proudly say that I have found my Soul mate, the Love of my life, my everything, the one who completes me inside and out, The one I have waited and prayed for, the one I know was made for me, He will be THE ONE (and no this is not like Neo in the Matrix). Everyone seems to be falling in some type of thing, I am not sure if it is love, lust or a mixture of the two, but all I know is, it is some kind of infatuation. So I must admit as much as it nauseates and makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little, it also makes me happy to see that others found love and it just fuels the old romantic that is inside of me.

I just get a bit irritated at the word Love being thrown around so loosely, also; soul mate, love of my life, my everything, the one and also again LOVE

The older you get you start to realize and get a better understanding of what it means to fall in love or lust, and you also start to comprehend what it meant to you at a certain time, especially when you look back at past and present relationships (it’s like completing a survey using your own experiences). I mean if you had your first crush at 12 years old, in your mind that was the epitome of what “puppy love” was supposed to be, but your first boyfriend at 16 changed all that, remember how you planned your wedding as soon as you finished school and wanted to start your life together at 18, because he was The one, (well The One who was just your first love, yeah he was the one). Or as you reminisce about that Man who stole your heart at 20 and you believed that he was the Love of your life and would end up being the one, but he rather ended up being the Love of that year and ended up being the one who you would rather choose to stay away from, as far as possible, even social media seems to be too close. But somewhere through all the crazy, stupid infatuation, you were in love, your version of love and the kind of love that you craved and needed at that point in time, ultimately the love that you now know was just a glimpse of what awaits you, when that amazing stranger will cross your path.

So it is good and easy to tell someone that they are the love of your life, when you have been dating for 3 months and this love story feels like a definitive fairy tale, you break up 1 month later, and 2 months later (if it isn’t sooner) there is another Love of your life one the scene, or even soul mate, and the cycle continues.

Firstly, I applaud people who go into relationships so soon, because it takes a lot to open up your heart to another person and give love a try, heartbreak after heartbreak, time after time, you might just be a hopeless romantic or well you just can’t be alone.

Secondly, I get that using the words Soul mate, The One, Love of Life, seem to be the most intense way to express what another means to you and that you might feel that that person is, but seriously now, will everyone you date receive that title? I can’t even and refuse to even give the same pet names to people I just have casual and long term relationships with (babe, baba, bubu, baby; they are archived now).

Thirdly, yes that person felt like your Soul mate at that time, because he was someone who completed you even if it was just for a little while, someone who caused growth in you and taught you things that you will recognize in your SOUL MATE. Yes, he felt like the love of your life, for a moment, because for a brief moment that’s everything you required, everything you thought would complete you and for that moment in your life, he was someone you loved like the was no tomorrow. Yes, he felt like he was the one, because the emotions that you felt towards him was so thrilling and made you feel like you could walk on clouds, but he was the one for that instant. Yes, he was your everything, the everything that you were aware of that time, the everything that thought was important and now you realize it was the everything that a younger you is just now a shadow of.

Yeah I have had my share of infatuations, I still fall in love with every guy I see in the magazine, or it might be lust, and not every guy, every alternate guy with beards, tattoo’s, muscles and a Man bun is a plus point (Or at least this is my latest obsession). Yeah I have thought that someone or some people were The One, but they were the One for that period in which they were a part of my life, and now The One consists of #MCM’s. My soul Mate well I haven’t found the ying to my yang yet, but that will happen, but honestly I never felt a connection like that with anyone I dated, you know the soul mate vibes. I have called someone my everything and regretted it every time I said it, because it just didn’t feel right and I now know it’s because it wasn’t.

so whether you call him Love of your Life, The one, Soul mate, he probably is the Love of your Life in that moment, He might be The one you need and require at that time and he perhaps is the person who helps your Soul evolve.

By Jo-dene Jansen