13 Regrets Of My Life and How You Can Avoid Them

 / 

Regrets My Life You Can Avoid Them

A Cautionary TaleOh, regrets. We all seem to have a few. Looking back on my life there are many things I would have done differently had I been more aware of living in the present, and making changes soon enough so that my regrets in life remained minimal.

When we live in the present we are aware of the importance of self-expression and taking the time to really explore our interests and the world around us. Blessed are the people who screech into the grave, having lived their lives to the fullest all the while learning, loving, building, creating, taking risks, growing and enjoying most of their life journey. It could be that there are a few apologies along the way, but kudos go to people who live presently enough to understand what is truly important to their own happiness. People that follow their own path (especially when it requires making difficult changes or decisions), tend to live with very few regrets.

Regrets in life are such sad, mournful things. A heavy bucket of them can pin a person down.   The good news is we can tweak what isn’t working in our lives, and hone what is before it’s too late. We can indeed lighten the weight of our buckets if we are open to suggestions.

As human beings, we seem to only learn from our own mistakes. Despite that, I have revealed a few regrets of my life here as a cautionary tale.

1. Cleaning instead of playing with my children

For some reason, I could never do anything at all, ever, unless I was organized and my house was squeaky clean. I wouldn’t leave, go outside, or to the store. It was difficult for me to even play with my kids. I had this picture in my mind about what my house needed to look and feel like in order for me to function as a happy mom. 

I had to project perfection in order to actually enjoy play time. My poor kids. Now I look back and regret not savoring their childhoods more. In my heart, I don’t think being a slob is okay, but I know that most of the cleaning and organizing fed my need for perfection. Children grow up fast. The house can wait. Trust me when I tell you that you will have years and years of a clean, quiet house when your kids leave the nest. 

2. Worrying about reactions to my opinion

I always had a problem “speaking up” in my life. I was afraid of offending someone or getting into an argument. I learned to keep my opinion to myself. This basically comes off as having an empty and uninteresting personality.  What I have learned is that the more I know, the more confident I am speaking my mind. I have learned to respectfully express myself, and it’s empowering. I regret not speaking up in given situations along the way for fear of “rocking the boat”. The expression is a healer.  When we don’t express ourselves and our opinions, we harbor resentment and anger. These feelings turn into regrets in life over time.

Related: Life Lessons From The Joker: What We Can Learn From The Clown Prince of Crime

3. Blaming my mother

So often, when we are riddled with problems, (as was the case with my unhappiness and my eating disorder), we look to place blame somewhere, on someone.  I went through many years of blaming my mother for everything  about myself that I didn’t like or couldn’t control. I never asked for help or took ownership of my own behaviors. I simply sat back and rested on the crutch of playing the blame game. Kids do not come with instructions.

My beautiful, generous mother did a fine job raising me. She wasn’t perfect, but she loved me and she tried her best. She didn’t deserve my wrath, my anger, or my pointed finger. We all dance in the shadow of our own upbringing and it affects  the way we raise  our own kids. But my mother is not at fault for the way I chose to live  or mask  my pain, and I regret making her feel guilty.

4. Not traveling more

When I graduated from college, several friends of mine did some fun things. One went to Europe for a whole summer, flying by the seat of her pants, exploring every nook and cranny with just a backpack and a passport. One whole group left in two cars and simply headed out west, with no set plan.  They found jobs and settled into very different lives far from where they grew up. I moved back into my parents’ house, met a boy who lived one town over, promptly go married, and started having children. Now, of course, I love my husband and my children,  and I wouldn’t trade them for the world, but if I’m being honest, I do regret not being more adventurous and traveling more when I had no serious responsibilities and the chance.

5. Backing out of plans

In the throes of my eating disorder, and with my lifestyle in general, I could never be spontaneous. For example, because of my weight and insecurity, when the time would come to head over to a  the party I would somehow suddenly not feel well, or simply not want to go out and socialize. Part of my  the disease is about isolation, and hiding. I backed out of plans at the last minute, or canceled abruptly all the time.  It’s a coping behavior, plain and simple. I regret these actions tremendously because I essentially missed  so much of the fun parts of life. When I find myself doing this now, I put a stop to it as quickly as it starts. Plans are for today- and tomorrow is not  guaranteed.

Related: 7 Life Lessons We Can Learn From The 14th Dalai Lama

6. Thinking I was fat

I obsessed over being fat. I thought a size 8 was fat. I thought a size 12 was fat. Now I hover between those very sizes and I marvel over the thought that at one point in my life, I truly thought it  meant I was fat. Along with feeling fat comes the feeling of worthlessness. The fear of looking fat always haunted me. Long ago, clothing was made and tailored for each individual figure because women came beautifully packaged  in all shapes and sizes. Now, if you don’t fit a “one size fits all” ideal, you simply feel fat. At this very moment, I regret wasting so much time on this very subject. I regret even writing this last sentence because it gives the subject more time than it deserves.

7. Harboring resentment

So many of my days were spent angry, alone, and resenting a life that I alone chose to live. I wallowed inside a murky mud puddle of negativity for most of my young adult life. I blamed my mother, I was mad at my husband because he went off to work while  I took care of the house and kids. I resented everything and everyone around me who had what I didn’t – an actual true  life. Instead of confronting my feelings or changing my behaviors, I simply let the resentment pile up. I regret the time I wasted harboring resentment more than anyone will ever know, and more than I can ever write about.

Related: 27 Lessons I Learned In 27 Years To Stay In The Present Moment

8. Spending too much money

Money in, money out.  I tend to adjust my spending habits based on my income, which is foolish. I regret not saving money earlier in my life. Having a bit of money saved is the foundation that freedom and stability rest upon. Like it or not, both are essential for personal happiness. Instead I squandered my money on unnecessary material things. Things purchased “in the moment” for instant gratification is a deep regret because they mostly consist of things I don’t remember and don’t have in my possession today.

9. Being overly critical of others

I tend to have a knee-jerk reaction to people and their behaviors and one of the main regrets of my life. When someone is being rude, for example, I immediately think that particular person is  just a total jerk  when maybe he or she is just having a bad day.  It doesn’t excuse the rudeness, but it does explain it to a degree. We all have our moments. When I see reality shows about addiction – like “My 600 pound Life” or “Intervention” I am a little too quick to be disgusted.

I often think, what the hell is wrong with these people? Why can’t they just change? But then I remember that we often criticize the weakness we see in others because we know how transparently it lurks inside us. I always regret choosing criticism over compassion. Criticism in this context consists of negative energy that my body, soul, and mind thrive without.

Related: 7 Examples of How Successful People Set Goals and Achieve Them

10. Not taking my makeup off before bed

Oh, the dreaded makeup removal! It takes 2 minutes, and yet for years  I simply brushed my teeth and went to bed (most nights). I regret this  because it’s gross, but also because it aged my skin prematurely. If you wear makeup, take that shit off before bed. Then slather on some serious “night renewal serum” or some such shit and let it work its magic. Getting old sucks, but with a little routine skincare we  can look as beautiful as we feel inside.

11. Waiting too long to put fitness first

Fitness wasn’t always a part of my life. I remember being lethargic and sedentary. I waited way too long to enjoy the benefits of simply moving regularly. The biggest surprise of a solid exercise program is that the emotional benefits far outweigh the physical ones.  Physical activity is one of the keys to a happy and productive life. Exercise changes our minds, and that it what’s needed for growth. 

Related: 10 Habits That Cause Low Self Esteem And Depression

12. All the things I didn’t finish

Our life tends to be filled with starts and stops. We leave so much of it incomplete. My mission this year to simply finish what I start. I proclaimed publicly that I would run a half marathon, and I would actually finish writing a book. My whole life has been spent giving up when the going gets tough and I regret it. This year will be different because I am choosing to be different.

13. Living ungratefully

So many of us take our lives for granted, and we live as though every day is a given. It isn’t. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. As soon as we begin to live in a way that reflects gratefulness for each new day, each new chance we get to become fulfilled, we start to really see how beautiful our life can be. I regret not coming to this epiphany sooner.

The wonder of regrets is that when we lay them out, we learn so much about ourselves. What do you regret?  Can you make it right? Some things we can’t change because we just can’t go back in time. But we can certainly change ourselves and our actions moving forward in a way that reflects what we have learned along the way.

These days, I’m grateful just to open my eyes and begin each day with a happy heart. I am learning to push myself to finish what I start, and I’m even taking my makeup off before bed! When I’ve got something to do, especially if it involves my kids or something fun, I throw down my washcloth and walk away from my chores. The dishes stay stacked in my sink and the laundry stays in a dirty pile. I let it go because the moment I am seeking is happening now, and that mundane, life-sapping shit can wait. 

Well, what are the regrets of your life? Share your thoughts in comments below.


Regrets Of My Life
Regrets: A cautionary Tale
Regrets My Life You Can Avoid Them pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Responses

Leave a Reply



Up Next

6 Therapeutic Japanese Words With Deep Meaning

Japanese Words With Deep Meanings That Bring Peace of Mind

Japan has figured out how to bring us tranquility. This country is full of therapeutic Japanese words with deep meanings that will make your soul feel at peace.

Living in a world that moves at the speed of light, it is so easy to get caught up in the chaos. Stress seems to be on every street corner and finding peace and serenity seems to be nothing more than a pipe dream.

These Japanese phrases with deep meaning gently remind us all to just slow down, take a deep breath, and find peace in the present moment. Each word carries its weight when it comes to finding harmony within oneself and achieving an unmatched sense of peace.

So letโ€™s dive into six therapeutic Japanese words with deep meanings that can give you instant tranquility in this hectic world we live in!



Up Next

Plant Parenthood 101: How Caring For Plants Can Nourish Your Mental Healthย 

Ways Plant Parenthood Can Boost Your Mental Health

Have you ever wondered why so many people are embracing plant parenthood? It seems like everywhere you turn, there’s someone proudly displaying their thriving indoor jungle or posting pictures of their leafy companions on social media. 

But this trend is more than just a passing fad; it’s a movement that promotes not only the well-being of plants but also the mental health of humans. 

Let us explore the concept of plant parenthood, why caring for plants is important for both plants and humans, and learn how do plants help mental health.

What is Plant Parenthood?

Plant parenthood is the act of nurturing and caring for houseplants as if they were our o



Up Next

30+ Truths About Diet Culture, Eating Disorders, And The Process of Healing

Honest Truths About Diet Culture And Eating Disorders

Diet culture impacts so many people all over the world, and unfortunately, much of it’s impact is negative and harmful. If you are struggling with an eating disorder, then you’ve come to the right place. These truths about diet culture will help you understand it’s repercussions, and motivate you to live your life in a much healthier way.

If you are struggling with food or an eating disorder, these helpful points may offer you the nudge you need to change your relationship with food.

Related: Diving into Diet Culture Definition: 5 Startli



Up Next

Are You ‘Manic Cleaning’ Or Just Tidying Up? 5 Signs To Look For

Manic Cleaning Episodes: Signs To Look For

Have you ever been tidying your house and thought, โ€œAm I manic cleaning?โ€ Many people have been misusing this term so much that itโ€™s become a viral trend.

But before we get into what is manic cleaning, let’s learn about mania. According to Dr. Aron Tendler, a psychiatrist and Chief Medical Officer, โ€œmaniaโ€ usually refers to bipolar disorder which causes unpredictable shifts in mood, energy, and functioning. Real mania lasts for seven days or more and affects behavior as well as mood and cognition.

And What Is Manic Cleaning Episode?



Up Next

Why The Best Time To Have Coffee Isn’t Right When You Wake Up!

Best Time To Have Coffee: Reasons It's Not Early Morning

Are you part of the club that canโ€™t even think about starting their day without the warm embrace of a good ole cuppa? You might want to rethink your morning ritual because it turns out the best time to have coffee in the morning is not when youโ€™re up on an empty stomach.

Although chugging down a steaming cup of coffee sounds like the perfect way to kickstart the day, there is growing evidence that suggests why you shouldn’t drink coffee first thing in the morning and wait a little longer before taking your first sip. 

So, letโ€™s examine whatโ€™s the best time to drink coffee in the morning and why you should refrain from an early morning brew.

So, what is the best time to have coffee in the morni



Up Next

Movies To Inspire Creativity: 10 Must-Watch Films For Artists

Movies To Inspire Creativity In You: Creative Movies

Creativity is a tricky thing, striking seemingly when it wants and leaving you high and dry when you need it most. But there are certain movies to inspire creativity and have the power to get your creative juices flowing.

Thereโ€™s just something about the ability of a good film to transport us into another dimension that sparks an idea or two.

If youโ€™ve been feeling uninspired lately, try watching one โ€” or all โ€” of these 10 creative movies that are perfect for anyone looking to ignite their creativity again.



Up Next

The Different Types Of Sleeping Positions And Their Impact On Your Health

Sleeping Types of Sleeping Positions and Their Benefits

Did you know that we spend about one-third of our life sleeping or at least trying to fall asleep? Most of us love to sleep. It helps us rest, reset and rejuvenate. But all of us have our own favorite sleeping positions and different types of sleeping position can offer different benefits. 

Well, there are mainly three types of sleeping positions – back, side, and stomach. While the position may vary a bit depending on the sleeper, these three positions are among the most popular. But which one is the perfect posture to sleep? And how does sleeping position affect health?

Thatโ€™s what we are here to find out today. Whether you sleep on your side, back or stomach, it is essential to know about the different types of sleeping position and how it can affect our health so that you can have comfortable and uninterrupted sl