You are settling!

I see you playing small and limiting yourself in hundreds of ways and I just can’t figure out why.

Why do you stay with him?  How did you even hook up with him in the first place?

I get that you’re lonely and just want a boyfriend, but really? THIS, is what you’ve settled for in the name of romance and love?

Good men idly stand near because we refuse to rescue you from your own poor choices. We shake our heads at you, in sadness really.

Why? Because you’re not ready for us. You’re still dating the bad boy. The total douche bag, you know the type: arrogant prick in high school, jock kinda guy that masked his own insecurities with sports performance and a cool car from his parents, running through girls at drunk fraternity parties.

Please don’t settle.

Not with a life you don’t enjoy, a job where you’re not valued, a friend that isn’t real and especially not with him.

Don’t settle for his silly excuses, his fear-filled disappointments and especially in the ways he treats you as less than you are.

You exist as both kind and gentle, strong and independent, sweet and smart, yet, a longing smile fades as he turns away to wink at the other girl that he conceals from you, calling her a friend.

Every excuse you make for him weakens your stature, lessens your resolve and robs your of an effervescence that dims when he’s near.

You wake to his 3 am drunk texts that he calls affection, fast food he thinks is a value meal and cheap sex he thinks is intimacy and you think is a relationship.

Don’t settle for anything less than hands that caress your skin, arms that hold you tight, shoulders that bare your tears and eyes that gaze deeply into your eyes, piercing your soul.

You deserve to be loved well, the kind of spine-tingling love that makes you melt, reconnecting you to your innocence at the mere sight of him.

Don’t settle for a man that whispers his lies in place of bold truth that lays gently on your heart.

Don’t settle for cheap love and expensive consequences for lack of standing up, letting your hair down and being wild and free.team_thumb5.jpg

It’s when you shine brightly that I want you the most and yet, I can’t draw you near, because he dims your light, robs your soul and steals your beauty.

While a good man is worthy of crying for, such a man will never give you a reason.

He wants you when you feel fat. He wants you when your emotional. He may not always know how to tell you how he feels, but he’ll never abandon you for fear of sticking it out and seeing what’s next.

He will trace the lines of your body gently, he will kiss you softly and desire to align his life with yours, making both better together.

I know you might be lonely, clock ticking, wondering if love will find you.

Trust me, you won’t  spend your days alone, he will come.

My lovely woman, please don’t settle with him. Please.