It is said that hurricanes are the world’s second most dangerous natural disaster after earthquakes. However, I believe they should come first. The hurricane starts and it blows away everything, the chance of anything surviving it is almost zero. It kills everything on its way. It has no mercy. It takes no rest. It is as ugly as it is.
When it comes to one self, there is no competition. You don’t experience an earthquake. Yet if you do experience a hurricane, you know it’s a number one killer. It drains the life out of you while you’re still breathing. And there’s nothing in the world as devastating as the calm that comes after the storm.
It’s in the calm that I learned that the hurricane started when I first tried to run away from everything I feared I’d become, when I took every possible road to avoid being what I hated in everyone else.
When you suffer because of people, when you’ve had too many awful experiences, there comes a point when you’re trying so hard to resist everything that has to do with the person and what they made you feel.
You resist anger, but you find yourself angry all the time. You resist pain, but you’ve been hurt so long that it can no longer leave. You resist grief, but you find it with every step you take towards happiness. You resist selfishness, but how can you protect yourself in this terrible fight? And you resist fear. You resist it till you become it. You become your worst fear. You become your worst enemy.
Whether someone says it to your face, or you find it out on your own, you just realize you’ve become everything you’ve run from, and suffered from.
And after the hurricane is over, after all the tears and the heartache, you lose something as valuable as connection, not just with the world, but with yourself too.
When you suffer because of people, when you’ve had too many awful experiences, there comes a point when you’re trying so hard to resist everything that has to do with the person and what they made you feel.
You resist anger, but you find yourself angry all the time. You resist pain, but you’ve been hurt so long that it can no longer leave. You resist grief, but you find it with every step you take towards happiness. You resist selfishness, but how can you protect yourself in this terrible fight? And you resist fear. You resist it till you become it. You become your worst fear. You become your worst enemy.
Whether someone says it to your face, or you find it out on your own, you just realize you’ve become everything you’ve run from, and suffered from.
And after the hurricane is over, after all the tears and the heartache, you lose something as valuable as connection, not just with the world, but with yourself too.
The world has a way of being so ruthless sometimes. It allows you to know the taste of joy, of laughing your heart out, of dancing to its rhythm and feeling the beauty in it, but then it strikes you with endless shots at the heart. Something is always missing. Something is always wrong. You become a prisoner of yourself and everything you wish you could change.
– Nada Mohamed
You can follow more of her works
on her blog – Attraversiamo
or her Facebook Page – Little Things
on her blog – Attraversiamo
or her Facebook Page – Little Things
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