The Keys To United Happiness – Mind Talk

They say we should keep things simple, but that is very difficult for those of us who like to think things through. I mean sure we can give multiple excuses to justify either standpoint, but the reality is we need to find the balance. It is wrong to be careless, but it is also wrong to think to deeply and get to emotionally involved if you want to have a rational and objective thought process. So here are a few thoughts on life itself that may help us through those difficult times in our life when our perceptions get the better of us.

Understanding The Difference Between Truth And Perception:
Though it is true that perception is one part of reality, it is not all of it. There are positives and negatives in all things. On top of which, what we deem positive may be deemed negative by another party. One example is we deem it positive to eat an apple to survive, on the other hand it is negative to the apple. Sure we could say it is not sentient, but regardless it is living and we are consuming it’s life. But we could also plant the seeds and create a new apple tree.

The trick is to understand there are two sides to one coin. But the hard part is finding the balance (the center of the coin) between them. A coin is neither showing heads or tails, that is just our perception of it. Take for example the palms of your hands, if you press the palms together what is separating them? The obvious answer is nothing, the emptiness known as the void correct? Then that brings the next question, what is the difference between the two? The answer is nothing. This is the ultimate truth to all things.

In other words, because there are positives and negatives in all things it is neither, it is simply a neutral event. The idea of right, wrong, good and bad is a man made ideal based on our own perception. Our perception is an accumulation of beliefs based on our circumstances and thoughts. Nothing more, nothing less. Take for instance the glass of water, when it is half filled to it’s capacity we are asked if it is half full or half empty? The answer is our mentality and our perception on life. the reality of it is that it is both so it is neither. The correct answer is that it is simply half a glass of water.

“There are no negatives or positives in life, only an accumulation of neutral events that cause or create a twist in our own perception.”

Understanding How To Believe In Ourselves Positively:
Now that we have understood the neutral truth, there are ways to help us stay positive and move forward in life. Because though the truth is not our perception, our personality is our perception and therefor we will have our separate beliefs on what is positive or negative. We still need to learn how to progress forward in a positive manner, part of which is accepting the objects and events around us regardless of differences in opinion, wants or needs. By this I do not mean the age old excuse that if it is not involved in my personal life it does not effect me. Which is true I might add, but not the point. We need to learn to break the boundary between beliefs and expectations. This is also involved with all our relationships with one another.

“We need to learn to believe in each other, but we must also learn to not have expectations of each other. Expectation is a cliff on which you can fall of off. Beliefs are the endless opportunities we surround ourselves with that can teach us to soar!”

Learning To Build True Strength:
Now that we learned how to accept people, we need to learn the difference between individuality and being united. There is nothing wrong with being an individual, in fact I implore you to, however the issue is in how most of us do this. We feel the need to rely on ourselves so much we push each other away. But by doing this we are losing our crutch. Mainly it is due to the fear that if we need the crutch it will no longer be there. On the other hand why would something be where we did not put it?

We all get hurt, we all need help, but this does not make us any less of an individual. The truth is we are to scared to rely on someone’s help. If we can accept each other without judgement or fear, if we can communicate as individuals holding together a single unit, then we in turn become stronger. One example is Joe broke his right leg and can no longer stand on his own, but Jane broke her left leg. On their own they can not stand, but if they rely on each other and hold onto each other firmly while they lean, they only need one leg each to stand up. Imagine what you can do with four, six or ten?

“Individual strength is needed to survive alone. However united strength is what is necessary to live together and succeed in a united world of endless possibilities.”

Learning How To Communicate:
Now that we heard about strength in relationships and bonds everything seems fine and dandy now right? Wrong, how we do things is still an issue that needs solving in all aspects of life. If we want to be heard, understood or given time in any way, we must in turn do the same for the individual as they need it. This is of course The Golden Rule: Treat (respect) as you wish to be treated in return. But someone always has to make the first step in this, so try giving the respect first, after all you have to give respect to gain respect.

However there will be times when they can not return that respect, they are not in a place of mind where they can accept learning another view of life other than their own. This is where you have to ask yourself is it worth it? If it is not worth it to you because they do not respect you, then you simply must move on before the beautiful rose you once viewed has become a flower riddled in thorns. However, if you feel they are worth it then you can put the effort to bend heaven and earth and break the barrier of your minds impossibility and accept the sacrifices you must make to do so. Remember, even if they have thorns they are still a beautiful rose.

We also may be scared to hurt the rose and hold back our true feelings, this is also wrong. How can you communicate feelings you do not share?

“The less we speak the better it is. However, that does not mean we should not speak at all. It simply means we should keep it to a minimum.”

Learning To Keep A Subject Simple:
Now that we know how to communicate, we still need to know how to keep things simple in order to understand ourselves and communicate it properly. This is due to the fact it is much easier to point the finger and blame the situation or the people who brought in the situation for us making our choices. We pass blame or guilt onto the second or third party which in turn complicates the situation extremely. The only issue we should have is understanding what we are willing to do in any situation. Anything beyond that is unnecessary, not our responsibility and not our individual problem.

“We need to learn to look at our options, make our choice and take responsibility for it. To look beyond that is to pass responsibility to an external influence. Our choice is our own, and if we change it is for ourselves so we can hold into what we cherish, not for the object itself. We should never be afraid to change and take responsibility for our own actions. The subject is not important, and that is the simple truth.”

Learning To Accept Ourselves And What We Cherish:
Often somewhere along the lines of the previous subjects we fail to meet our expectations of each other. Due to this we feel an extreme guilt and feel we are not deserving of each other breaking off beautiful relations with amazing people or other objects that hold great value to us. But this is because of our negative perceptions of ourselves, which in turn creates a negative perception of the other through the “mirror effect.” The mirror effect is basically what we see in someone based on our own feelings of ourselves.

We tend to relate to other because we see ourselves in others, but this is true for both positive and negative aspects of our views. So if we can not trust ourselves in a situation, we can not trust the other and so forth. This is perhaps the biggest problem humanity is facing in our relations with one another. Instead of letting our fear rule us, we should learn to accept and forgive ourselves for our mistakes and move forward. But to do so, we have to do something worthy of our redemption. We often try to do it for others, and some succeed. But very few feel whole after they have changed. There is one reason for this.

“If we feel guilty there is only one true shot at redemption and self worth, and that is to do what we can for who or what we feel guilty towards. Anything less is simply running away from our own feelings.”

One Final Thing To Remember:
Nothing is ever to late so long as we do not give up. That means we are not a failure until we give up and deem ourselves as failures. That means even if we failed to meet this unnecessary expectation at a specific time, we can still “believe” in ourselves and attain that goal. We can better than we ever were for what we cherish.

“They say when a tree is cut it can never be fixed, but a new tree can sprout so long as it still has its roots. They say once glass is broken it can never be the same, but you can reforge it into new glass. They say once the paper is crumpled up it can not be perfect again, but you can recycle it into a new blank sheet of paper. It is never to late to correct a mistake.”

Written by Robert-John Papakonstantinou

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