Everyone wants to be the chill girl. No disrespect to the genuine chill girls out there, but the girl with no chill is just a different animal entirely. She’s not about “just seeing what happens” or pretending not to care. She does care—and that makes her the sexy, loving girlfriend that she is:

1. She’s passionate.

When she loves something, she goes all in. She doesn’t half-ass things, and she doesn’t hold back on affection. Her passion is infectious, too: don’t be surprised if you find yourself intoxicated by everything she has to say (and unable to keep your hands off her).

2. She’s not afraid to take the lead sometimes.

Who wants to plan every date? The no-chill girl has her own suggestions—she’s not going to expect you to make all the big decisions, and she’s not going to let the two of you fall into the same-old rut.

3. She knows what she wants.

And what she wants is you. She’s not your go-with-the-flow, let’s-not-put-labels-on-things kind of girl. She’s the kind of girl who’s proud of the guy she’s chosen. You’re in her life because she wants you there, not just because you just happened to be there.

4. She won’t flake on you.

She’s not to type to be casually “chilling with” a roster of guys. If some fuckboy can’t commit, she drops him on the spot. And if she likes you, she makes it clear. She doesn’tflip flop.

5. She’s honest about her needs.

You’ll never hear her sigh, and then reply “oh… nothing,” when you ask what’s wrong. Passive aggressive is not in her vocabulary. She’ll never lie about being fine when she’s not fine. She’s much more likely to just straight up tell you what the problem is, and what you can do about it. And she’ll always accept your honesty, too.

6. She’s her own person.

You don’t want to date your mini-me (at least, I hope you don’t). She’s not just going to adopt your personality and drop the rest of her life. She’s no doormat: she has a strong will, and she’ll expect you to be your own person, too.

7. She’s always ready for an adventure.

This is no laid back chick who just wants to lie around swilling beer. This is the girl who wants to live life to the fullest—expect spontaneous car trips and unforgettable dates.

8. She doesn’t play games.

She doesn’t understand people who wait strategic amounts of time before replying to a text. She doesn’t get the big deal with trying to hide your feelings or pretending to like burgers when you’d rather have salad. She could care less about the “rules” of modern dating, and she’s happiest when you’re just real with her.

9. She won’t sell out to seem “cool.”

She cares about a lot of things… but not about feigning “cool.” She’s not going to jump through hoops to come off like some mellow chick who’s just one of the guys. She’s going to be herself (and anyone who doesn’t like it can get out of her way).

10. She’s always there for you.

You can always trust her to put your feelings first. She gets it. She’s an emotional person, so she won’t be weirded out by your emotions—you can be honest with her. Her love is strong.