Regardless of why you are single, there are a few things to consider before taking the big leap into a new relationship. If you are freshly single or even if you’ve been single for a while, you may be neglecting yourself a bit. It happens during relationships. When we’re in love we tend to care more about the health and happiness of the other person than we do our own. Some things end up getting ignored that really should not. It can be different for everyone. It could be you’ve been disregarding your health, ignoring relationships between friends and family, letting home repairs or your work slip, etc.
When you get out of a relationship, especially if it was a rough breakup, these things may be even more neglected than they were before. That is why, we believe these 10 steps are very important when it comes to moving on, getting your sh*t together and making sure you’re in the right state of mind, body and soul before you start the next relationship.
1st thing – Make yourself a priority: YOU need to do YOU for a little while. If you feel like hiding in your room for a few days and crying it out, do so. If you feel like watching movies in your underwear while eating a bowl of ice cream, then do it. Whatever it is, as long as you love doing it (and it’s not along the lines of harming yourself or others) it is probably a good way to unwind and give yourself a much needed break.. And we all need one of those from time to time.
2nd thing – Get yourself into a new routine: We can all agree that some R&R will do the mind, body and soul some good, but it can also make us lazy and behind on our rent. The key here is moderation. After you’ve had your time to unwind and get your mind back into a more relaxed state, it’s time to get yourself into a routine. Its hard to say how much spare time you have because everyone is having a different experience, but it’s important you plan yourself a schedule and try to stick to it. It really does help! What should you put on your schedule? We’re getting to that part.
3rd thing – Spend time with family and friends: This one is important! Family and friends always end up getting ignored a little bit, especially when we’ve just started or ended a relationship. Not only can they offer you emotional support, spending time with them is often a great start to getting your life back on track.
4th thing – Make your space your own: It feels good to have a space that is by you, and especially for you. No matter how much space it is, and whether or not it’s in your home, your bedroom, your car or even just your office or cubicle at work, you can always make it more ”YOU”. Just choose a space you spend a lot of time in. Then, make it clean, make it comfortable, and try to make it highlight what you love, who you are or how you feel as a person. Everyone needs a happy place!
5th thing – Do something you’ve been neglecting to do: It doesn’t matter what it is. It feels good to accomplish something, especially if it’s something you’ve been putting off for a while. It can be as small as washing your car, to as grand as going back to school or finding a new job. Only you know what you’ve been brushing off. Listen to that inner voice. Is something telling you that it’s no longer time to ignore it? If so, make an effort to see it done.
6th thing – Try new things: Maybe you’ve never tried cooking Thai food before. Or maybe you’ve never ridden a horse or gone for a hike in the mountains. Now is the perfect time to broaden your horizons. You may even make some new friends now that you’re trying new things while ‘unattached’.
7th thing – Go on a soul searching trip:Sometimes life can get overwhelming. One of the best things we can do for ourselves is to just ‘get away from it all’ somewhere, either alone or with just one other person. It gives us a chance to take a breather, organize our thoughts and reprioritize our hectic lives. Even if it’s just a short day trip, going off to a relaxing place can do the mind, body and soul a world of good!
8th thing – Do some volunteering: Volunteer work is so important nowadays. Not just because many people and animals need help, but also because it is so great for character building, for meeting people, for obtaining new skills, you name it! In general, it just makes you feel good to help the less fortunate, and it makes us appreciate what we have all the more. There are so many good things you get out of volunteering that we really cannot stress enough how important it is to do something constructive and to get your hands dirty now and again. Plus, you get to show the world your altruistic side!
9th thing – Find a new passion or hobby: There must be something you’ve always wanted to get into. Maybe it’s painting, hiking, bike riding, working with animals, or one of the other millions of positive things you can do with your time. Whatever it is, as long as you enjoy it and you get something positive out of it, do it!
10th thing – Choose a long term goal: We all need something to look forward to. We need a goal that we can strive to accomplish in the long term, otherwise our lives end up feeling stagnant and directionless. Just whatever it is, make sure ”find a new lover” is not one of them. Remember, meeting ”the one” is almost never planned. Life introduces us to our soulmates by surprise, most often when we least expect it.
In the meantime, find a good balance between keeping yourself busy and making yourself happy. Your life partner will find you when the time is right.