Don’t get involved in a relationship so much that you forget you have a life, an identity that needs to exist. A relationship is an important part of your life but it is not your entire life. No matter how deep your relationship is, you should not be apologetic for having your own preferences, views, likes and dislikes and life goals. This stands true whether you are in an everlasting relationship or in the initial stages of a relationship which is just one of the several you are going to have.
Remember, you can break up with a person but not with yourself.
Don’t forget who you are. You cannot and should not exist just being someone’s wife or girlfriend. Of course, we need to make decisions together, agree on certain things but when it comes to your life, it is your call and you alone have the right to decide all matters associated with it. Be in a position strong enough to support yourself if ever your relationship comes to a sudden end. So, don’t be apologetic about having an identity outside the relationship.
Here are some more things for which you should not be apologetic.
Don’t stop spending some time alone. You may want to spend this time doing something that you like or just relax and chill without having to spare your attention to anybody else. Living in a small place is not an excuse either. Just put your headphones find a cozy spot and relax. Your partner is not entitled to every moment of your life.
You don’t have to wear, eat, read and watch the same things your partner likes. It’s perfectly okay to wear exactly what appeals to you. If your partner is a complete sucker for sci-fi or super hero movie and you can’t stand them a bit, be vocal. You don’t need to bear 3 hours of torture. Letting your partner know about your dislikes is fine.
You should have your own life goals, and you have the right to make extra efforts to achieve them. Work late, make sacrifices and focus on your goals. But, that doesn’t mean ignoring your partner. You should make your partner feel important and wanted. If you are in a genuine relationship, your partner will be at your side. However, if they behave differently, it’s enough to tell you they are not the right person for you.
Difference of opinion
You may have different view on so many things. You are not obliged to hold same opinion as your partner. Your partner may love adventure sports, while you may think it’s too dangerous and waste of money and time. But, you cannot trust your opinion on your partner and deprive them the joy of doing something that they love so dearly. The same thing applies to you. However, there are things where this principle will not apply, but for most of the other things it will.
Seeing a beautiful person and feeling attracted is normal biological reaction. This does not mean your partner is not attractive or you are going to cheat. It only means that you saw a charming personality and liked what you saw. There is no reason to feel bad about this until you honor the boundaries of your relationship and are respectful towards your partner.
Feel the way you do
There is no need to be sorry about how you feel. After all you are human and human beings do have feelings. Some days you can feel too emotional, some days you can feel a bit down. As long as you don’t upset your partner or make him or her victim of your bad mood, you don’t need to apologize. If you had a bad day and you want your partner to hug you and make you feel good, ask for the hugs. There is nothing to feel bad or apologetic for needing emotional support.
Ending the relationship
If you don’t feel or get what you want in a relationship, you have all the right to leave. You could be with the best person in the whole world but if you are not feeling ‘it’ you should end the relationship. You don’t have to be guilty or apologetic about it. On your part you should make sure you let your partner know everything in a mature and kind manner. But, once you have done that you have owe nothing to them. You can choose not to be in contact for some time or for the rest of your life.
You may or you may not want to have sex on a particular day. If you are not feeling physically and mentally in the condition to have sex let your partner know. It is a completely acceptable thing to say. On the other hand, if you want to have sex that is also okay. Don’t feel ashamed to let your partner know about it. Similarly, if your partner doesn’t have the mood, they should not feel apologetic either.
The way you look
It is good to maintain a presentable appearance. You should dress well and look good, whenever you want to. But, when you are at home relaxing or just enjoying your down time, don’t bother. It is your choice how you want to look and dress. You are under no obligation to look hot and sexy or maintain a super model status, unless you want to look that way. Don’t ever be apologetic how you look.
Visiting your family or friends alone
Isn’t it true that we want to share so many things with the people we are closest? When in a relationship one must not forget there are others who existed in their life before the relationship happened. Your mom, your sisters, your friends may want to spend some time just with you. They may want to share something of their own with you. So, if at times you don’t want to invite your partner they should not get offended. Try to make them understand and encourage them to spend some alone time with their own people.
If your partner doesn’t like your personality, they are not the one for you. People get attracted to each other, but as they come closer they get to see and understand one another better. This is when the smallest traits of one’s personality are revealed. If your partner mentions their dislike for things, you cannot be apologetic for being who you are. People and relationships change us whether we realize the fact or not. And there is no harm in improving or getting rid of our vices. But, apart from that, you should not be apologetic or change the fundamental aspects of your personality which don’t hurt anybody
Stop saying sorry for the things that you shouldn’t be sorry about. You have no business saying sorry a million times.