5 Things Sociopaths and Narcissists Say to Make You Feel Crazy

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When you hear the word “psychopath”, you might think of Hannibal Lecter or Ted Bundy, but most psychopaths are actually non-violent and non-incarcerated members of society. In fact, there’s a good chance they’ll seem exceptionally altruistic and innocent to the average onlooker.

As described in the Psychopath Free book, psychopaths are first and foremost social predators. With no conscience, they’re able to use charm and manipulation to get what they want from others—whether it be families, friendships, relationships, cults, the workplace, or even politics. The bottom line is, they modify their personalities to become exactly the person they think you want them to be. And they’re good at it.

But when they no longer need anything from you, that’s when the crazy-making behavior begins. Here are some common phrases you’ll hear from a psychopath who’s trying to make you doubt your sanity:

1. “You over-analyze everything.”

Of course there are people who DO read too much into situations. The difference with psychopaths is that you’ll always discover you were correct in retrospect. They intentionally do things to make you feel on-edge or paranoid, like flirt with a once-denounced ex over social media for the whole world to see. When you question them, they accuse you of over-analyzing the situation. But then a month later, you discover they were actually cheating with that person. Psychopaths want you to doubt your intuition by making you feel like a crazy detective, constantly planting hints to make you feel anxious and then blaming you for having that anxiety.

2. “I hate drama.”

And yet, you’ll soon come to discover there’s more drama surrounding them than anyone you’ve ever known. Psychopaths will first idealize you above everyone else, praising you for your perfect easy-going nature. But because they are perpetually bored, this never lasts long. They are pathological liars, serial cheaters, and eternal victims. Before long, these qualities inevitably start to surface and cause you overwhelming confusion. Any time you mention your concerns or frustration, they’ll declare their hatred of drama and make you feel bad for reacting to their horrible behavior (instead of addressing the behavior itself).

3. “You’re so sensitive.”

Psychopaths manufacture emotions in others—it’s what they do. After once showering you with 24/7 praise and flattery, they’ll ignore you for days on end and wait for you to react. When you finally do, they’ll accuse you of being sensitive or needy. They’ll insult, belittle, and criticize you (usually in a teasing/joking demeanor), pushing your boundaries until you finally speak up. Then they use your manufactured reactions to make you seem crazy. Within weeks, psychopaths can turn an exceptionally easy-going person into an unrecognizable mess of insecurities and self-doubt.

4. “You misunderstood me.”

Sure, healthy couples have misunderstandings and miscommunications all the time. But with psychopaths, they’ll intentionally say things they know will provoke you. Then when you react, they’ll turn it around on you and blame you for misunderstanding. Oftentimes, they’ll even deny that they ever said it. This is called gaslighting—blatantly doing or saying something, and then blaming you for misinterpreting it (or denying that it even took place). The fact is, you understood what they said perfectly fine. They’re just trying to make you doubt your sanity.

5. “You’re crazy / bipolar / jealous / bitter / in love with me.”

The name-calling usually starts when things are going downhill fast. According to a psychopath, all of their ex lovers, colleagues, and friends are crazy, bipolar, jealous, bitter, or in love with them. This becomes very confusing when they start reaching out to those very same people they once denounced to you, using them to triangulate and cause chaos (making the psychopath appear in high-demand at all times). Then they toss you in that very same “crazy” bucket, continuing their never-ending cycle of idealizing and devaluing anyone unfortunate enough to cross their path.

The only way out is to go No Contact. This means no texts, calls, emails, or even Facebook friendships. Otherwise you can be guaranteed that they’ll do anything and everything in their power to make you feel crazy. The good news is, when a psychopath tries to make you doubt your intuition, it means your intuition was causing them trouble. Psychopaths seek to psychologically destroy anyone who might threaten their illusion of normalcy to the world. So when they begin playing mind games with you, it’s actually a strange indirect tribute to your ability to notice that something was “off” about them.

This article was originally published in forum thread: 5 Things Sociopaths and Narcissists Say to Make You Feel Crazy started by Peace

You might also want to read more about about Emotional Abuse here
5 Things Sociopaths and Narcissists Say to Make You Feel Crazy

Signs You’re Arguing With A Psychopath .

Why Narcissistic people love to ruin birthdays and holidays

Stages of Grief from a Psychopathic Relationship
 

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Jackson MacKenzie is the co-founder of PsychopathFree.com, an online support community that reaches millions of abuse survivors each month. Driven by personal experience, his mission is to spread awareness and give survivors a safe place to validate their experiences, so that every empathetic person can find happiness and love after abuse.

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115 Responses

  1. Devin says:

    Got a chance to say goodbye to my Cluster-B. I’m never slumming again after brainy women, as they’ve invaded every sphere or modern womanhood. Must be at least a 7, and younger, before I try to learn about a person that would be a vampire of will and time again.

    But yeah, she must have been broken up about the way she done the situation, but she was completely dead. She stated with the usual “just wanted to be friends” crao she’s being said since the initial breakdown in our friendship. Since this time, I figured it was either over or we would really understand what happened and get into this, I didn’t hold back for fear of her going NC.

    Basically, she had shame and guilt about the situation, and triggered at the slightest hint of me caring to see her. It’s funny that she said that I reminded her of her sister, who she’d already claimed has done her life the mist damage, being a narcissist. I called her on it, and asked for proof, finding everything she said to the opposite, also saying I called her a bitch, which never happened, as it was her words. I simply said her actions were sociopathic a few days ago.

    It was unproductive to her, because there was really no reason for her to try to save anything. It was productive to me, because I got a chance to have her admit to self sabotage. Her claim is there was too much that had happened for us to even be friends (basically because I didn’t kiss her ass, and attacked any sly “assessments” of me), and this was just to let me beat up on her for being stupid. She needs to constantly play the victim.

    I didn’t just go cold on her, or throw other guys in the situation to complicate things when we were in the afterglow. She’d called them “two other horny” guys the day we were hot, but now they’re friends?

    Essentially, she just owned to destroying the friendship, but kept trying to say that my reactions to how she kept the insane coldness was scary. So it was https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobayashi_Maru. The only way I would’ve won is to not give a shit about it all, and not care after I got the pics I wanted.

    To be honest, I really thought about doing that, but I could never treat a person that coldly. I was drawn into her triggering, and made the completely loser, for a chick I wouldn’t even look at 5 years ago. She was just in a shared group and seemed smart. She was just obsessed with the material as they’ve been Tweeting about it for a full year and little else. I met her on my first day on Twitter, and ruined my experience. She’s not even a high functioning Cluster-B.

    So yeah, since she had guilt, every part of it had to be bad, especially since confusion and bad came after. Her thing was trying to split the blame. She wanted to make my reactions to her sudden turn the reason for the turn, and I couldn’t let her do that, even to save the friendship. I’m kissing no more asses of Cluster-B’s, because they STAY miserable people after that. I told her she had to get past it, like a mature adult, and find the good in it still, or walk.

    When they self-sabotage, they do it to leverage something against your spirit. It’s best to challenge them to be adults or leave, even if they hate you. I was firm and assertive in my own feelings, and not trying to protect hers anymore, while still being respectful.

    She walked. I feel a lot better now. She’s misery to everything she touches, including her marriage.

    • Devin says:

      Still a soul sapping experience, for someone to idealize you so heavily in the first meet, say anything to get each other juiced up and horny, then cut anchor at any signs of follow through.

      All Cluster-B’s are like this, in the beginning. Then you get a 2nd honeymoon that is the real relationship. When they get intimate, why trigger and disappear or attack to disappear for space. She wasn’t attractive enough to be trying to do my head in like that, and even with experience, I didn’t really know she was a Cluster-B until that Monday.

      She started trying to actually attack ME, instead of my assertiveness at wanting to see her first of the guys. It’s wasn’t even an attack then, just an assessment about her home situation and she’s been asked before. I didn’t know she feigned offense at my sizing up the competition until 2 days later. There was still drastic change in tone. But yeah, she wanted to attack my ego, because I didn’t get how cold it was getting, and it went downhill.

      Something told me to ignore her so soon after. I was already tired. But yet, this last post was mainly me trying to figure out how to approach the many other Cluster-B’s I’m sure to meet before settling down.

      This whole respect thing I’m new fully questioning. If you know you have a fool that will put out, and then blow everything up from guilt, play the Black/White games and flake/go cold, why take the fallout?

      I used to have empathy, but I’m getting better and finding these tools quicker. Why not use them and be done with it, instead of pretending to care more than I’m increasingly not.

      I don’t want them to hurt, but they give 2 fucks about the opposite, and go out of their way to try to make you jealous. I really don’t have to stay for all of the inevitable, when I got what I wanted.

      Something for all you sufferers of Cluster-B’s to think about. Just because society and you own humanity tries to force you to care, what’s keeping you from playing in the landscape you’re given. Isn’t it better than finding yourself hurt later??

  2. Devin says:

    MO’s of Cluster-B’s:

    1. Chase a higher level of intimacy behind another lovers back (monkey can’t grab new brand without having the other for fallback).

    2. Find that new high.

    3. Realize the new high is created by another person, and thus can be controlled by that person, if situation stays the same.

    4. Devalue the person and high suddenly. They will start indirectly attacking, then full on, if person doesn’t get it enough to respond.

    5. Use any counter attack to call it drama (if it is about the situation and change and not the person) and/or play the victim (if the person attacks back from being attack).

    6. Threatens to leave from the drama they have caused, because of their narcissistic lack of being about to protect the value of other people with empathy and shared sacrifice/care.

    7. If the person relents, cuckold them, so that they’d know how little is meant of them. If they leave, start smearing them immediately of being evil.

    8 Try to replicate with someone else, failing to see it was the person, and not them, that created that high in the first place.

    9. Fail. If the other person had walked away, they will try to reconnect with them (called hoovering). If they took the hurt and then orbited them instead, trying to find closure or a fix; they will feed from the narcissistic fuel and not acknowledge the person.

    I’ve seen it all and been on both sides with orbiting and walking. In all instances, it was a massive mindfuck and power play that hurt both of us in the end. Clusters just don’t have the strength to value people, because they usually can’t value themselves consistently. It’s why they always need causes. They either think too highly or lowly of everyone, including themselves. They don’t understand that people NEED a person to be consistent, because they can’t trust you to be, after treating so many people like disposables

  3. Devin says:

    I know a woman that said all of these things, and just posted this crap about ME!! Lol. We met on Twitter, and was extremely intimate in DM’s. She has other “complications” I won’t get into here. But yeah, I’m a caring dude, and loved the company. I tried to give her space. About a day later, she starts suddenly attacking me because she had other guys the was intimate on Twitter with too, and thought I was trying to “push them out” being arrogant. I said it was a man’s nature to compete to be #1 if he cared about the person. I find this was just an excuse.

    The first night, she loved my competitive spirit, and she said I took her further, faster than any of the other guys. It pumped my head up, because I really valued this person’s brain (she’s NOT that attractive in comparison to many I’ve talked to, but seemingly very intelligent). I’d really overrated her brain, as she was a Narcissist. You strip for someone, when you have before, and then try to power broker and mindfuck the situation by gaslighting, yet you post this crap to your Twitter to gain victim sympathy??!!??

    But she’s constantly railing against religious people. I mean, on Twitter, she has a group that is OBSESSED with it. It should’ve been my 1st sign I was dealing with a cluster-B. I ignored it, because I loved talking to her. But it just got worst. Told her my dad had a stroke and I was going to see him. She didn’t care, just about OUR situation, that she wanted to end because it was too much drama, when I was confused with the push pull guilt behavior. I wasn’t called arrogant in the beginning, and she said my assertiveness was a huge turn on, that got her off faster. Seemed like she had a lot of shame and guilt from doing it so fast, and not actually doing it.

    But I was the scapegoat. She gaslighted and went cold like moving from Texas to Antarctica, after threatening to never want to talk to me again from the drama she caused. I’d just wanted to make plans to see her, one day, in person this year. Who the hell wouldn’t? She said other guys wanted that too, and I was “arrogant” to think I could come before them.

    Then she said that since our situation was so hot and fast, she would never set guys again or be flirty. Wouldn’t you know it, she never stopped. Just said anything to devalue me and make sure I felt like our situation was the outliers…the horrible. I’m here, trying to be understanding.

    Reminded me of a borderline I was engaged with, that did the same thing. She said she’d never online date again, after what happened with us. Made me feel something was wrong with the “system” when she’d used it most of her life. This was when the cunt was in her rebound relationship after cheating on our engagement. I told them the love was transference and shallow, and they will break up as soon as she couldn’t use my pain for the fuel anymore. She claimed to be in love. Shit didn’t last a year. Yeah, saw her on Badoo and OkC while I was trying to pick up the pieces of that 2 yr clusterfuck.

    They’re just locusts man. All the Cluster-B’s have a particular MO, of chasing sustained validation, getting overwhelmed, and dropping the people that care like a hot potato, after making them feel used. The only people for a Cluster-B are Narcissists, because they treat them like the shit they feel like inside. It’s horrible when you care, and they use that against you.

    • Devin says:

      She calls mutual sexting a “love bomb” to shame me on Twitter, and now my “caprious” behavior is a sign of Narcissism. She pretends she wasn’t the one that came on to me! The projection with these loons. She just got scared I actually had the funds to visit later this year, and started an insane gaslighting campaign (I was going to her country anyway, since it’s near Amsterdam). She got freaked out from THAT and then turned the intimate night into a massive regret clusterfuck. Who sees every part of a women and spends 3 hrs sexting and not want to see the person??

      But yeah, they fall head over heels, feel shame or anxiety as they won’t measure up (the BPD was always like this), and then invites the drama. This drama is meant to make the relationship unsalvageable as they attempt to emotionally exhort yoh into making all kinds of concessions to save the friendship/relationship. It’s also meant to devalue you.

      So you will be confused and slightly upset at their change of “tone”, after being hot and heavily into you. They use that to exhort you even further,until one of you abandons the situation. It would be different if this was a person’s first time with the situation that “triggers” them. No, Cluster-B’s promise to quit and are addicted to drama. They would go right back to what they promised not to do, to make you feel alienated, after they’ve triggered the break from it.

      They will also say that you’re controlling them. I’ve never told her to stop talking to the other guys. She offered, as a measure to say she would stop b/c our situation ended up hurting me. It wasn’t the situation, just how insane she got from guilt or whatever happened that I couldn’t enjoy learning about her from more than the sexting. I wasn’t even taking her time, and was going to take it slower, to keep us moving forward. I just wanted to keep the “meeting in orl” out there as someone to motivate me.

      So yeah, watching them do the smear campaign on you afterwards is the worst. Horrible seeing all the qualities they bragged about, being flipped to say you’re evil and manipulative, when it’s their actions that where.

      Who is extremely intimate with a person, and then says “I don’t trust you” not 2 days later. She says it’s because her sister did her head in, but she keeps blaming me somehow….

  4. Nichole says:

    I am so grateful these articles popped up in my newsfeed.
    I could write a book of the past six months of my life dealing with someone that is EXACTLY the words of this article and others you have posted. Makes me feel SO much better that I am NOT crazy .. an EMPATH , yes..but Crazy NO.
    I knew he was “sick” to an extent but thought it was from Trauma in his life .. however, he was way worse then I could ever imagine. I simply did nothing but try to help and am suffering from the six months of hell dealing with this person in my home. Thank you for amazing articles that spit out EVERY word to a “T”.

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